Tools for Thriving in High Stress

Today we are talking specifically about how to thrive in high stress times, and what tools you can use to help you get there.

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. We talk all things wellness regarding the environment that you spend a lot of your time in, your physical health, your intellectual health, your financial health, your spiritual health, professional health, your social health, who you have relationships with, your emotional health.

This is a really big umbrella, so expect all kinds of topics within all of these amazing dimensions of your wellness. Let's dive in

We live in such a time where we are on the go, and we have all this technology around us. We have all this knowledge, but we struggle with how do we tap into ourselves again?

What are the signs that we are tapping out before we actually burn out? What do we do to get ourselves there?

today I have with me Harmony Slater. Let me tell you a little bit more about her, and then I'll let her start talking, she said that she never set out to become a somatics business coach, a mentor.

She does energy-based coaching, . She works with breathwork. There are several words in here that I can't pronounce, that I had her pronounce, and I've already lost them so she's gonna explain what those are. Give us a little bit more about who you are and then tell us a little bit about your life journey so that we can get this lived experience.

Sure, yeah.

I've been in the wellness industry, spiritual wellness, personal development, personal wellness for, gosh, man, probably 30 years now, which, feels like a long time. Over half my life,

I'm sure you've seen a lot of changes through there.

Oh, yeah. I became vegetarian and vegan when I was 16, and there was, no food available at all, and now it's, sold on the, stock exchange, vegan food.

So yeah, it's gone from, zero to a lot in the last, three decades. I ended up, doing a deep dive. My, real interest in spirituality, started when I was young. I was raised in a Christian home, and then I went to university. I'm gonna give you the Reader's Digest version of the bio and the story along with it.

I was studying philosophy and religious studies with a major in Buddhism, and I became very interested in Buddhist meditation and yoga. Ended up going to China and India, studying deeply meditation and yoga for the next seven years. I lived- in Southeast Asia before returning back to Canada where I live now I opened up my own yoga school and ran my own business, teaching yoga and also, running the studio, and sold it, and then started focusing more on teaching and traveling internationally, workshops and retreats, which I still do, to a certain degree.

Not as much as I used to. But... And then from there, moved more online and started really coaching other yoga teachers, healers, and spiritual entrepreneurs to build businesses that serve themselves, that feed their soul and their bank accounts, and to show up in, more authority, within their business and w- within their lives.

So that's been my focus and my journey. Of course, there's many, many things in there that I'm sure we'll get to, throughout the interview. So yeah.

What have you noticed the most working with people who already are more spiritually aligned, they're working in that, that they are missing?

I think the easiest thing as we come into this work as, healers, as people who are, sort of more spiritually aligned, and, we're doing work that we love, that's really worked for us and has changed our lives, but then somewhere along the lines of building a business and helping others, we forsake our own healing, our own self, our own work, our own practices, and we kinda get caught up in the grind.

And it's really easy to look at, a yoga teacher or a meditation teacher, a healer, doing energy healing or massage or, whatever it is, like coaching, even wellness coaching, right? And you think, "Oh, you live this amazing life. You get to talk about things that you love and do what you love all day long."

But the reality is that there's a lot of things involved in running a business that, you don't love and that aren't, aligned, like bookkeeping and, marketing and website updates and design. And, there's a lot of things that go on behind the scenes, even, like, making links and booking appointments and keeping a schedule.

Most women and business owners have families, and there's a lot of responsibilities that go along with that too, and so in all of that, you're still, running a business. And even though it's in something that you're aligned with, that you love, that you feel, spiritually connected to, that you're inspired by, you stop doing the things for yourself that really help you to connect, to feel inspired, to be healthy, to feel aligned.

In service to helping others and then also trying to grow and build a business that is nourishing you and your family and that you can live off of.

Yeah.

And in that, I think, is the biggest sort of pitfall because You start to kind of then lose that connection, and, then you might as well just be doing any job, and you're also not really taking care of yourself, which is the heart of your whole business.

So that's definitely one of the things that I've fallen into when I started bringing my business online because before it was all in person. Even running a yoga studio, we always had an online presence but it wasn't like what happened in 2020 with COVID and everything went online, right?

And so I'd already started shifting some things to an online model. I'd had a website for ages and, been blogging and doing some different things like that. But moving everything online, creating communities and classes and, all of the different sort of offerings, a podcast and, it's...

It takes up so much time and energy that then you're kind of forgetting yourself in the mix and just focusing on building this business. And so through that experience, I ended up burning out really, significantly, being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, which was probably always like there lingering in the background, but it really flared up, and it was a big wake-up call and a big, sign and sort of like a halting point in my life.

It was like, "Okay, you have to learn to build a business that is serving you, that's connected to your energy and putting yourself first," rather than putting all of these, obligations and responsibilities and to-dos and all of the many, many, many things involved in the behind the scenes of running a business.

So that really taught me to kind of slow down and go back to focusing on what was essential and building the business in a way that was aligned with my energy rather than trying to like listen to what everyone else was saying, like, "Oh, you need to do this and do this and do this and do this," and you're applying everyone else's, frameworks onto yourself and your business.

And like it just didn't feel quite aligned. It didn't feel good in my nervous system first of all, and also was leading to burnout because there's just... an endless list of things, you know? So learning to really come back home and listen to yourself and build, what is truly serving you and your spirit, I think, is essential.

for people who are struggling with the thought of, "But I need to push harder," work harder. Maybe they're disconnected from themselves. . The people who feel like, "I just need to throw all the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks," or the people who that sounds like that is a business that is serving you so much, how is that actually going to go out and serve the community?

So how do you nail all three of those?

First of all, figuring out what really lights you up. What do you love to do? Because when you're doing that and you're in your zone of genius, or you're doing the thing that you love, it feels like no time passes. You love doing it.

It doesn't feel like work, right? And so, I think that's one of the signs we were talking about is, like, when do you notice that you're starting to feel, burnt out or the stress is creeping in? Like, what are some signs? And so one of those signs is usually, like, you start to kinda resent the work that you're doing.

And originally, it's stuff you love, but then you're like, I don't really wanna do this. I don't really wanna have this meeting," right? So that's always a kind of a good sign that, like, maybe you're not putting in enough time for rest or putting in your own self practices or your own time to nurture yourself or getting out into nature or taking a vacation

there's lots of ways that you can kinda create space between yourself and the work that you do. So I think figuring out what you love is really important. And then figuring out when your energy is the highest and what times of the day work really well for you is really important. You know, for me, like, trying to have a meeting at, 6:00 PM is like, "Oh my gosh.

Please, no."

I had to stop my recordings at that time 'cause I had them at 7:15- which was after the younger two were in bed.

Yeah.

And I just realized I am not my best-

Yeah, exactly.

And it makes it harder to go to sleep 'cause I have the ring light shining in my eyes.

Right.

It would take me a, an hour extra to try and finally fall asleep, so realizing that was huge.

Yeah. And then also, like, you're having a conversation with someone, so it's also very extroverted, and your energy's really high, and then you're like, "Okay, now I'm gonna go to bed?"

Probably not right away.

Exactly. See, you get me. Everybody else, hopefully they do too. And that goes with anything you're doing. Like-

Yeah ...

for some people, they can exercise late at night and go to sleep. It's better for me if I do it in the morning when I'm not fully present, so I'm not-

talking myself out of, "I can't do this extra weight." That's right.

No. That's right.

I'm tired enough. I'm pushing through. I'll add in an extra whatever.

Yeah.

Okay.

So there's two tools that you gave us. What other tools are there that work? Specifically let's start with people who are already working in maybe the mental health or-

wellness or spiritual field, and then for the average person.

Honestly one of my favorite things, and I do have a course on it called Ancient Breathing 2.0, is the breathwork, is using your breath because it's free, and it works for everyone. And

it's universal. Like, we're all breathing all the time. So learning to use your breath, and even a lot of, very beginner meditation techniques is just about following your breath, right? Letting your mind focus on your breath, focusing on the inhale, the exhale. It's so simple. Do that for two minutes, five minutes, it'll change your life, right?

You do it for 20 minutes, even better. But longer isn't necessarily better, but, if you can kind of create even, like, two minutes of just, like, really being with your breath is helpful. If you want to use your breath, like breathwork, that is... most breathwork comes from the ancient practice in India called pranayama.

Pranayama means the extension or the expansion of life force, or the control of the breath, the control of your life force, is really about doing something, manipulating the breath in a certain way to create a certain effect or result.

So one way, if you're feeling there's... I mean, there's a couple things you can do.

If you're feeling immediately, like, panicked or anxious or, like, stress in your body, oftentimes this happens to me, like, if I've been working and then all of a sudden I have to shift and, like, drive my son to an activity or something. I get in the car and I can feel like I'm a little bit, like, charged already, and you're just feeling like, "Oh my gosh," like, "I have so much stuff to do."

And they get in the car and they wanna talk to you, and you're like, "I can't."

One thing that I think works really well for everyone is you can inhale through the nose, and then if you exhale through your mouth, through the pursed lips- As slowly as possible. So you're putting, a little bit of back pressure.

It'll put a touch of pressure on your vagus nerve, which will help to stimulate it, which will help to create more of a parasympathetic response in your body. So it'll immediately bring down your stress levels. So notice how you're breathing at that time, and try to slow the breath down and make the exhale as long as possible.

One way to do that is by, doing through pursed lips, like you're breathing through a really tiny opening in a straw. And you do a few breaths like that, you'll immediately start to feel more in your body, more calm, more present. So that's one really fast way. Another way that can be really helpful, like a lot of people suggest box breathing, which is, inhaling for four or five, and then holding it for four or five, exhaling for four or five, and then holding for four or five.

That can work. That's best done, when you're already feeling kind of regulated. Not when you're driving or,

I learned that the hard way. I found that it was making the anxiety go up more. That was not a good idea.

Or, like, you're already feeling stressed. It's better to do as sort of a practice when you're already feeling regulated, like first thing in the morning, or just, like, when you're feeling relaxed already.

But I prefer another type, which is... it's very simple, and it's easier for most people. And so if you did experience some anxiety or some, tension building up while you were holding the breath doing the box breathing, one really easy way is just inhaling through the nose and counting. If you have, like, the second hand of a clock or a metronome, you can use that so that you can hear how long you're counting.

So maybe you're gonna inhale for four seconds, and then make your exhale double. So then exhale for eight seconds.

That one's my favorite, too.

Yeah. And that's, like, super easy, super simple. It's a very basic beginner kind of pranayama, learning to control the breath in a way that isn't gonna create anxiety, isn't gonna create the retention at the top or the bottom.

That retention itself can put stress into the body if you're not quite ready for it or if you're already feeling a lot of stress in your life. It might not be the exact right moment to start with the retention. The retentions are the part that puts extra pressure into your nervous system.

So just removing the retentions but lengthening that exhale to twice the length of the inhale is really helpful. So I think between kind of just following the breath in a meditation, just watching the breath, kind of open awareness, feeling sort of that sense of maybe the borders of your boundary becoming a little bit transparent, and then just following the breath, the natural rhythm of the breath.

Inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth for as long as you possibly can, and then inhale through the nose, exhale through the nose for double. Those are really, really simple, easy-to-use, breathwork exercises/meditation. You know, all of it's kind of meditation 'cause you're training the mind to follow the breath in all of those cases, right?

Meditation is. A technique or a tool to focus the mind on one thing. And so all of them will work really, really well for creating more of a relaxed nervous system under stress.

Those are my favorite ones because I think the breath is just so powerful. It's really connected directly to our nervous system.

Every inhale, there's a slight increase in our heart rate. It's connected to our sympathetic nervous system. Every exhale, there's a decrease in our heart rate. It's connected to our parasympathetic nervous system. So whenever you're working with the breath, you're working directly with your nervous system.

And so it's just 100% the way to kind of come into your body and really directly affect your physiology very simply. It also helps to connect your subconscious mind to your conscious awareness because it's the one thing in our body that's mostly unconscious, right? We breathe all day long.

We barely think about it. But as soon as we want to, we can take conscious control of it. So it's sort of like this bridge that bridges the unconscious and the conscious mind, and it also bridges the body and the mind, the body and the emotions, because the breath is connected to our emotions. You know, when we're angry, we breathe fast.

When we're sad We breathe in a different way. When we're concentrating, we breathe in a different way, right? So it's very much connected to our emotions, so when we shift the way that we breathe, we're helping to also shift our emotional state and come back into our bodies. So it's a really powerful tool.

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Let's talk about habit stacking with this. Or- Mm-hmm ... but like smoker's break- ... idea, right?

Yeah,

How often or when should we be taking these breaks throughout the day.

What are your thoughts regarding this?

Some people are really into setting their timers and their alarms and are really good at scheduling, themselves breaks during the day. I kinda like to do it a little bit more organically because I'm not such a big- Which some people

need the alarms, right?

Yeah. And then some people- Yeah ... have that ability to remember to check in with themselves. So maybe- Yeah ... give both

So something interesting, our nostril dominance switches every 90 minutes. So every 90 minutes there's a natural switch in our nervous system that goes from, active, extroverted, to more reflective, introverted, you could say, right?

So right nostril dominance versus left nostril dominance. So you can set an alarm for every 90 minutes if you want and kind of take this little breathing break. Like a two-minute to five-minute breathing break would be amazing, right? And there's lots of other different types of breathwork exercises you could do if you want to kind of explore and go deeper with that.

Any of these that we've talked about would be great. It doesn't have to be 90 minutes. It could be every two hours. It's really just about creating a regular habit. Even if you did it first thing in the morning and before you went to bed, that would also change your nervous system significantly, because it's really about creating the regularity.

More doesn't necessarily mean better, but having a consistent habit is helpful for if you want real shifts and changes in your nervous system. I like to kind of look at transition times, so rather than scheduling, I'll do like at the end of a meeting before the next meeting, or-

That's what I was thinking, too.

Yeah, like before I get in the car or like when I first arrive into the car. You know, so just like different transition times. Before I sit down for a meeting. Those can be a little bit more of an organic way to plan it in, so you're kind of like scheduling in maybe an extra five minutes before or after a meeting to just, like, okay, I'm gonna do my breathing now, or I'm just gonna like be quiet and connect with myself and follow my breath.

You can do little short periods of just dropping in and feeling yourself from the inside out. I think that's the other thing.

Embodiment's a big word right now. But like, what does embodiment really mean? It means being able to pull your senses inside and go into your body and feel your body from the inside out, which is kind of a skill.

You have to practice that because all of our lives we're trained to look outside of ourselves for everything. So what does it feel like to look inside yourself? And so it's really about turning your senses around and pointing them inside your body. And that is really, really helpful to be able to do that because all of a sudden now you know what it feels like to be inside your body rather than thinking in the outside and looking outside all the time.

So that's another way that you can think of meditation or any of these exercises is really like while you're breathing, close your eyes. Let yourself feel what the breath feels like inside your body rather than just feeling the breath outside of your body.

I love that.

It makes me think about how many times where we have a free moment, maybe it's that time of year we're stuck in construction or- Yeah,

yeah ...

we're in a line that's taking longer, or grocery, picking up food- Mm-hmm ... whatever. We're waiting for kids to be done with a certain activity, or we're all sitting down for the meeting but one person's running late.

We have these moments, and that's usually when we're picking up our phones, right?

Yeah.

Maybe we need to change our screen to remind us- put the phone down and breathe, or maybe we need to have an app if we really can't do it ourselves.

Totally.

And really having that moment of, okay, check in with yourself.

How am I doing? Or maybe do a body scan or focus- Mm ... on a breath, on some kind of breathwork What is it that you need in this moment? Yeah. And going back to the smoker's analogy, I think it's helpful. I think it's because we're gonna be hanging out with friends tomorrow who are smokers.

Ah, yeah, maybe.

It has to be it. But it's very interesting that a lot of employers give time for smoke breaks. Maybe we need to just tell everybody that we're smokers and go out and do breathing breaks instead.

Yeah.

100%.

Away from the smokers. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. We can still do that same type of thing, or maybe it's not a breathing break.

Maybe it's just a meditation break. Maybe it's whatever.

Mm-hmm.

So think about that. When do you have times throughout your day of when you're normally picking up your phone, that's not good for you, maybe instead- check in with yourself. How am I doing?

I think it's so helpful to highlight those moments, because it's often those moments that we start to get more stressed, right?

When you're waiting in line, you're like, "Oh, I gotta be somewhere," or, you're in traffic and you're frustrated that it's not moving. And so, like, again, that could be, like, sort of a little trigger for you. Like, "Oh, I'm feeling myself getting frustrated or angry or, anxious or annoyed or whatever it is," and like, "Okay, I'm gonna actually use this time now."

So rather than feeling like you're wasting time or you're stuck somewhere you don't wanna be, it's like, "Okay, how can I use this time to breathe, to go in, to find rest and ease in the moment?"

Then it'll be, "Yay, I got stopped at the stoplight. I get a minute for myself." Yeah.

Yeah, exactly, and then it's a gift rather than, a penalty or a burden or something.

Yeah.

I love this idea, too, of, smoking. Years ago, when I was working at a yoga retreat center and we were focusing a lot on pranayama and breathing and the benefits of it and the mechanics of it, we would often talk about that, how the real benefits of smoking is actually that you're taking a really deep inhale and a really long exhale- And so of course you're gonna feel relaxed, you know?

And you get to get up and walk away from whatever you were working on.

Yes, exactly. Come to me and just do the good thing. And often go outside, and now you're in nature

Uh-huh ...

or at least, like, outside your setting, not looking at the screen, there's, like, a lot of benefits to that habit that create an overall feeling of goodness, you know, outside of, the nicotine and other carcinogens.

Yeah, and you get to go and be social for a minute.

Yeah.

And sometimes you're talking about work with your coworkers. Usually you're not.

Yeah, exactly.

I used to go out, with my friends who were smokers, and I would stand downwind. And I wouldn't smoke, and it was my opportunity to just breathe, as long as the wind wasn't blowing towards me.

Yeah.

Enjoy nature, hear the birds, feel the breeze. Just chitchat with my coworker friends and be away from the desk for a minute, and it would bring me this opportunity to... I'm recharged. I'm now looking at things from a different perspective now that I'm back at my desk. The things that were annoying me that I felt w- were friction and I couldn't get through work-wise, now suddenly I'm refreshed enough that I can get through it.

I see, oh, look, if I just did it this other way, it totally works.

Yeah. 100%.

Makes a huge difference. Yeah.

So what's another tool? Give us the next one. What's

another tool? What do you want a tool for?

You talked about, You're gonna have to remind me how to say this again.

Yeah.

Ashtanga

yoga?

Ashtanga practice. Is part of yoga?

So yeah, the Ashtanga yoga is... I mean, it's just a branch of yoga. Actually, most types of yoga that involve Vinyasa or flow or power yoga, that's kind of like a dynamic style of yoga, originated from Ashtanga yoga. Oh. So Ashtanga's a Sanskrit word.

It means eight limbs. But it, which kind of refers to something else slightly different than what this type of yoga refers to. And that word comes from Patanjali Yoga Sutras, and it talks about the eight limbs of yoga, which is more aligned with kind of Buddhism and a meditation practice. But my teacher who, was the originator, the founder, the guru of Ashtanga yoga lived in Mysore, India, and he named the type of yoga that he taught, which was a Vinyasa based yoga, which means simply connecting breath and movements together and putting those sun salutations between postures, between sides.

He developed that method. And so that method is what I spent many years in India studying and learning from him, and, becoming certified in teaching it, and what my yoga school that I started in Victoria, British Columbia, was centered on. It was called Ashtanga Yoga Victoria, and we taught this method of yoga.

But pretty much every vinyasa yoga, every flow yoga, every... originates from Ashtanga Yoga. There would be no vinyasa yoga without Ashtanga Yoga because it was the first, teaching system that taught to link postures through the sun salutation, which they called vinyasa.

Vinyasa

I'm so used to sun salutation that- Yeah

I was just taught moon salutation. And like, what is this? This is a whole new thing.

Yeah, and it's the same. Like, the moon salutation is just a again, it's just a spin-off of a sun salutation and it's not, like, ancient. I think the first time I had heard about that was, like, Matthew Sweeney was teaching it years ago in Australia, and now other people have li- you know, created their own.

So again, it's, just derived off Ashtanga Yoga practice, that was, you know, developed in Mysore, India, by Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.

So I've had different people talk about yoga,

Yeah ...

more as a concept.

So let's make this a little more- practical.

Yeah, okay.

We've heard about yoga. We've heard it's good for our body.

We live in a sedentary society. Our nervous systems are a huge mess.

Mm-hmm.

What are good yoga postures, poses that we can do-

Yeah ...

that is not, like, a full yoga practice, right? Like, if we've been sitting too long, what is one that would be really good for us? What is one that we should maybe do every day 'cause it's really good for our spinal health?

Give us some of those tools. And you don't have to show us. We can Google it. You

Yeah, yeah. You can Google it. There's many videos on YouTube. I would say honestly, sun salutations. Some variation of sun salutation, even if it's just, like, inhale raising your arms, exhale folding forward.

You can bend your knees. You know, stepping back. You can always do, like, a cat cow, or you can lower all the way to your belly and do, like, a cobra. You can do child's pose, downward dog. Some kind of sun salutation where you're breathing and moving.

And, like, almost every tradition has a type of movement where you're lifting your arms and you're doing some kind of prostration down to the ground.

This is amazing for getting your circulation going in the morning, for stretching your fascia And fascia is like the crystalline structure, the crystalline sort of like fabric of your body, right? And it's, full of intelligence. You're gonna hear more and more about fascia,

because it's really the, communication. Outside of the central nervous system, which is your brain and your spinal cord, fascia is the communication system throughout your whole body. It's why acupuncture works potentially pretty much. It's why, twisting and stretching a certain way creates health and healing because we hold tension and trauma and memories and emotions in our fascia.

And so opening and moving the body in this kind of way with breath, just feeling into your body and like really feeling like, oh, does it wanna twist, does it wanna like bend forward, does it wanna open back, and like just moving your body, listening.

You could base it on a sun salutation, which would be amazing, especially first thing in the morning. Just do one. You don't have to do like an hour or a half hour. You can just do one, just like get into your body in some way. You'll start to feel a change in your energy immediately.

I think throughout the day our psoas muscles get so tight and constricted because we're sitting all day long. We wake up, we sit down, we eat our breakfast, we sit in our car, we drive to work, we sit at our desk. And then we get back in our car. We come home. We sit. We eat dinner.

We sit. We watch TV, right? Like we're just sitting all day long, and then we lie down, and then we lie in the fetal position, which is also kind of a sitting position, right? So like the psoas muscle, which is the only muscle that connects your bottom part of your body to the top part of your body, gets really, really tight, and so we start to feel this kinda like crunching kind of, compression.

And it can also create a lot of like hip pain, a lot of low back pain. Because it's in, as it tightens, right? And so doing some lunges, like the warriors, I think are probably something we should all be doing. And that can be, any type of, like, lunge, and even better if you can stretch your hands up over your head because that's gonna open up the whole fascia line through the front of the body, down through the psoas, through the hip flexors, down through the quads, all the way to the feet.

So very, very helpful.

Also, I think back bending. I know it's not everyone's favorite. But some kind of back bend. And I would say a passive back bend would be beautiful. You could take like a block, or you could get one of those yoga wheels, or one of those big exercise balls.

You know, even if you're at the gym, they have those big round exercise balls. But just like lying back over it and opening up the spine in a back bend- Direction so that it's opposite what we're doing all day long, which is crouching forward and looking down at our phones, right? Or looking at our computer screens.

Everything that we do in our day, even driving is inward. Sitting and watching TV, inward. We're just, like, all day long the weight of the world is kinda like compressing down upon us, gravity's pushing down upon us, and we need to do things that are doing the opposite. Opening the neck, opening the chest, opening the heart.

Getting behind the heart center, opening into that upper thoracic spine. Opening the shoulders, if you can, letting the arms kinda hang back overhead so that you're allowing that shoulder flexion or opening the shoulders this way, like horizontally, The T ... on the outside of the body.

The T.

Vertically, horizontally, the I, the T.

In all the directions. And the reason why this matters-

Very helpful. Mm-hmm ...

anyone who's seen anybody who's older, have you noticed the hunch?

Hmm.

Do you notice that it is happening younger and younger? It is- Oh my

gosh,

Amazing. And the reason why I'm noticing it is because I'm noticing it myself, so I'm noticing it out in the

wild. It's something that I'm actively working on. Because I do not want to have to deal with a walker, and not tripping while using a walker. I'm not that kind of coordinated. So I would like to prevent that. So think about longevity wise. And my kids the other day, I used that word, and they're like, "What is that?"

It's living your best life into your 100s. You don't wanna be that person who, yay, you're 100 years old, everybody else is blowing out your birthday candles, and you're drooling on yourself, and you're not even there. That's-

Yeah ...

that should not be your goal. Your goal should be you are that sassy 100-year-old who can outrun, out-lift 20-year-olds, right?

Yeah. I'm picking a random age. Maybe 30-year-olds is more practical. But either way, you wanna be that person who is still spry, mentally and physically, in every way possible. And this is one of the best ways to get there, is making sure- that you are stretching your body and you're no longer turtle shelling.

Yeah, turtle shelling. It's a real problem.

Oh, yeah. It absolutely is.

Yeah, especially when you're, like you said, in a sedentary life, and everything, you know, you're... It's hard to exercise. You have to actually make time, schedule time into your life now to exercise. You know, in the old-timey days- We farmed ... we used to exercise without thinking about it, because we were doing things all the time, right?

We didn't have elevators and escalators and cars. You know, we'd have to walk places. We'd have to pick up groceries and carry them home. We, we were using our bodies in a way that we just don't do anymore.

Unless

we plan for it. And now when we see someone carrying their groceries, we think, "Oh, that poor person.

They must not have a car," instead of maybe they chose that.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah. It was really interesting. I was in Europe last week, and I was there for a month, and, there's almost no one who's overweight in Europe. And it's because everyone walks, and everyone, walks to get their groceries, and they might walk every day to, a grocer on the corner.

And then they buy fresh food, and then they come home. They walk home. And, driving isn't... obviously there's cars, and people do drive, but the whole city is set up so that people can live without vehicles, and they can walk and do these things easily. And, in America and Canada, our cities are just not really set up that way.

And so we really have our culture-

It's called walkability score. Yeah ... terrible walkability score here.

Yeah. And it's, working against us, our culture. And so we have to, actively kind of work against our culture to add exercise and walking and, picking things up back into our lives.

And y- you mentioned it. Picking things up is huge. And actually spending time doing that helps our nervous system too. So you can add that as another tool. Yeah.

And what I found is habit stacking works really well for me. The struggle is real with the cell phone. I have started on purpose not taking it in with me when I'm at the sauna, and it is so hard.

And I keep my watch with me for the timer, and even that's a little bit of a problem, 'cause I'll be like, "Oh, I wonder what my text messages..." It's so hard. But when I can fully do it, that is my- My breathing and my meditation is in there while I'm in the sauna, so I'm habit stacking all the good things.

Yeah.

And part of my workout when I'm doing my weightlifting workout, I do the E-gym, and it takes a while for it to finally, okay, now here's my workout on the machine. That's when I'm focusing on my breathing, and I'm doing some stretching along with that. So you can put in those things within your day is the whole point of what I'm saying.

So think about when you're choosing one good thing for yourself, start to make that a habit, and then see how you can optimize that. And then is there something else that you can add in with it to make it that habit stack of the good things? And know that along the way the things that aren't as good will start to fall off.

You don't even need to think about what bad things do I need to take out of my life.

Exactly. Like, it'll just start to fall away. What isn't meant for you starts to fall away. And I think, like you're saying, noticing those times. Like, even, you know, if you're at your desk and you're using AI and it's, like, thinking, taking, you know, minutes to compute, I mean, that's a great time to sit and focus on your breathing, or stand up and do some stretching, or lean back over your chair and, like, open your chest, open your shoulders.

So really, like, just developing a bit of, like you're saying, habit stacking. Like, oh, when I see this, that's my cue to do this other thing, right? When you're making your coffee in the morning, if you're waiting for the, you know, pour-over to finish do some stretching or do your sun salutation in the kitchen.

You don't have to make it, like, a big thing, but just adding in these little moments, little breaks of, like, breathing, movement, stretching, you know, meditating, just closing your mind and being like, "Oh, I'm just gonna focus on feeling my breath inside my body," or doing a body scan, like you said. If you can connect them with times in your day, it definitely adds sort of that next level and layer of nervous system regulation that everyone's sort of talking about and looking for, especially when you're feeling stressed.

And I think feeling stressed is kind of a part of our regular life right now.

Yes, unfortunately.

Yeah. 'Cause everything's going so fast, and our nervous systems aren't actually created. I mean, we have incredibly efficient nervous systems. They're excellent at handling stress, which is why we're stressed all the time.

Because we have to actually create moments of no stress so that we can come back into more of, like, a balanced, resilient state. Because they'll just keep, they'll just keep trying to adapt with what we're being given. And if we're not giving ourselves times of rest, then, I mean, it's just gonna keep building and piling on top of each other, or piling on top of itself.

Stress response, just trying to keep us, regulated in some kind of way, so

it's helpful.

Well, it makes me think in my own life, and this is the best way that I've connected with anyone that I'm coaching, 'cause they're like- Hmm ... "You get me."

How many times have you had that moment where you suddenly like you're saying, you're waiting for AI to com- to come through, or whatever you're doing at work. Maybe you're waiting on a coworker to do their part so you can finish whatever project it is. You suddenly have this time, and you don't know what to do with yourself.

You're buffering, and you're stressed out because you don't know what to do, but you feel like you should be doing something. And you have all this, it feels like energy, but really it's stress in your body. Yeah.

That is a huge indicator that you are used to going at top speed all the time, and you don't know how to...

If we're thinking about stick shift here, you don't know how to downshift. Yeah. And that is a big deal. And if you think about it with computers that run like that all the time, they burn out, and you have to replace the computer. The problem is how do you replace yourself, right?

Exactly.

That is how you shorten your lifespan, just the way it works with technology.

And technology needs a chance to unplug and reset. Mm-hmm. That's why- Yeah ... we're supposed to get at least eight hours of sleep a night, and we don't as society.

Yeah.

So what, where else can you put that in besides just sleep-

Yeah ...

but throughout your day?

Yeah, and I think, what you're saying is bringing up something that I was thinking about too, another wonderful tool that I highly recommend.

Especially, if your job and what you do really is technology heavy, where you're, at the computer, and you're looking at the screen, or in the office, is really, getting out into nature and, going for a walk. Even 20 minutes, right? Just going somewhere where it feels like there's no screen, there's no podcast in your ears, right?

All of that is stimulation, and, like, things that you're taking in. But just going into nature, quiet, breathing, walking, 20 minutes. That's like maybe as good as a rest, right? Because all of that nature is gonna help to, create a different electrical system for you. It's gonna calm your nervous system.

They've done so many studies around this. Even looking at nature on a screensaver helps people relax and feel better. I mean, how much more powerful to just go and be in nature? And it doesn't have to be like a forest, it could just be a park. Go put your feet in the grass. Feel the earth.

Feel the grass on your feet, or go sit in the grass. Actually, don't sit. You probably sat all day.

Go stretch while

Go stretch in the grass. Yes, perfect. Yes, only sit if you're stretching. But just like go somewhere that's, you know, you can breathe, and be near trees, and like touch a tree.

Touch the earth. Just like f- feel yourself as an organic like animal being, because that's your natural state. And I think we get confused when we think like, "Why do I not work like a machine?" "Why am I tired?" And it's like, well, you've been working 15 hours. You should be tired. It's normal. You're human.

But we get frustrated, like, "Why can't I keep working? Why am I so exhausted? It's 4:00 PM." It's like, well, you've been up since 5:00 AM and working non-stop, or going non-stop without a rest, right? So I think, just connecting into yourself and taking those breaks. Like, go stand in the sun, like we were talking about the smoke break, right?

Go, breathe some fresh tree air and, stand in the grass, and just give yourself five minutes to reset. So powerful.

Here's the trick. Go outside and try and figure out with your eyes closed which way is the wind blowing.

Oh.

There you go.

Good. I love that.

So how can we find you if we are ready to work with you?

Yeah. Sure. You can find me on Instagram @harmonyslaterofficial. You can also find me on my website at harmonyslater.com. I do all kinds of interesting things, including some energy healing. I know you wanted to talk about spinal energetics-

Oh,

we never got there ... which is basically a somatic energy practice that connects your body, which is your soma, with your energetic field, which is, not just your nervous system, but the energy that your nervous system is emitting, and helps you to come back home into yourself.

So there's all kinds of different tools and ways that you can experience more integration within your mind, body, and your spirit.

Actually, I think it's better that we didn't talk about it, because now you just gave them like that little hook of like, "Hey, you need to check this out." So Yeah ...

it worked out. And I know that it wasn't very long ago that I desperately needed that, and I had a Somatics coach that we were in a similar, it was a business thing that we were in. So we had a conversation, and she's like, "I can see that you are so struggling within yourself."

And it made such a difference to learn how to come within myself and do the deeper healing. I was already working with a therapist, and I was starting to plateau. And let me tell you, it makes such a huge difference. If you feel like you are completely dysregulated, you don't even know where to start, and you feel like you're falling apart within yourself, check out Harmony.

Yeah. Thank you. It would be a

Thank you for this conversation. This was- Yeah,

thank you ...

huge.

And I'm glad that instead of talking about abstract, we really hit on tools that can actually help people who are struggling.

Yeah, 100%. I mean, there's no point in, talking or learning about it if you're not learning about how to integrate it into your life, because that's where the transformation happens.

I mean, you can know all the tools and listen to all the philosophies and understand how it works, but unless you're doing it and applying it in real time to yourself, nothing changes. Nothing.

Yeah. Well, thank you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you. Yeah, you too.

All right. Bye.

Thanks for having me.

It was a pleasure.

Oh, absolutely. Have a great day.

Thank you so much for joining our discussion. If you enjoyed this, please like, subscribe, most of all, share the love with others. Please share this episode so that we can help other people really recalibrate every aspect of their lives so they can be the best version of themselves, and I will see you in the next episode.

I want to have my quick disclaimer here that this is not a one-size-fits-all. If you want one-on-one coaching, let's talk, and we will make sure what wellness means to you is really put into your life, put into practice. I am using my undergrad in applied health and my life coaching experience to bring this podcast to you