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Episode 53: Embracing Resilience and Self-Compassion

Updated: 4 days ago

 


Woman with short hair in a bathing suit by the beach with eyes closed, calm look on face, and hand over heart
Self Compassion


Intro:   

Welcome to the "Wellness in Every Season" podcast, where we embark on a transformative journey towards achieving total wellness, even in the midst of overwhelming moments. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, and I'm thrilled to have you here.


This podcast is a sanctuary for all mothers out there, and we extend a warm invitation to anyone seeking guidance and inspiration. We believe in fostering an inclusive community where we learn and grow together, supporting each other during life's challenging transitions.


Join us as we step out of survival mode and discover the path to thriving, embracing wellness in every season of motherhood. From sleepless nights to new beginnings, we'll explore practical strategies, share heartfelt stories, and uncover the transformative power of self-care and self-love.


Together, we'll unlock the wisdom, strength, and resilience within ourselves, reminding one another that we're never alone on this beautiful, yet demanding, journey. It's time to prioritize your well-being and reclaim your joy, one season at a time.


[Music]

EPISODE INTRO

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season, Episode 53, titled "The Art of Showing Up: Embracing Resilience and Self-Compassion." In today's episode, we will embark on an enlightening journey, exploring the transformative power of showing up for ourselves, even amidst life's most challenging moments.


We will begin by delving into the story of Lee, a mother of six, who navigates the complexities of parenting, career, and personal growth with grace and resilience. Her journey will shed light on the importance of being fully present in our lives, and how this presence can be a source of immense strength and fulfillment.


As we progress, we will uncover the crucial role of boundary setting. We will discuss what it looks like in real life, why it is essential for our mental and emotional well-being, and the potential consequences of neglecting this vital practice. This segment promises to be a revelation for anyone struggling to maintain balance in the face of life's demands.


In a special Lifehack segment, we will then provide practical tips on how to build self-trust, a cornerstone of personal development. These actionable strategies will empower you to cultivate a deeper belief in your abilities and decisions, enhancing your journey towards self-improvement.


Furthermore, we will explore effective techniques to ground yourself during moments of dissociation and negative self-talk. These tools are not just coping mechanisms; they are pathways to a stronger, more centered self.


Finally, we will tie all these elements together in a series of coaching questions designed for self-reflection. These questions will encourage you to look inward, assess your current practices, and identify areas for growth.


So, stay tuned as we dive into this insightful exploration of self-trust, boundary setting, and the art of showing up. This episode is set to be a guide to embracing resilience and self-compassion in every season of life. Whether you're a busy parent, a professional, or anyone in between, there's something in this episode for you. Let's embark on this journey together and discover the art of thriving, not just surviving, in our everyday lives.


Key point #1

Imagine the life of Lee, a mother of six, a devoted wife, and a passionate children's author. Each day for her is a whirlwind of activity, a kaleidoscope of responsibilities and joys. Picture her in the early hours of the morning, the world outside still cloaked in the soft hues of dawn. She sits at her desk, the only sound the gentle scratch of her pen as she weaves stories of adventure and wonder, stories that will one day ignite the imaginations of countless children. In these quiet moments, Lee finds a sanctuary of creativity, a space where her thoughts can dance freely and her spirit can soar.


As the sun climbs higher, her home bursts into life. The sound of her children stirring, each with their own unique rhythm and energy, fills the house. Lee transitions seamlessly from the solitude of her writer's world into the vibrant, often chaotic realm of motherhood. Breakfasts are prepared with a mix of efficiency and affection, school bags are packed, and amidst it all, Lee listens. She listens to the dreams recounted from the night before, to the worries about the day ahead, offering words of encouragement, a touch of humor, a listening ear.


Then comes the quiet after the storm, the children off to school, the house echoing with the remnants of the morning rush. Lee uses this time to reconnect with herself. She might practice yoga, meditate, or simply sit with a cup of tea, gazing out the window. In these moments of solitude, she finds strength and clarity, grounding herself for the day ahead.


The afternoon brings its own rhythm, a dance of pickups and drop-offs, of after-school activities, and the ever-present challenge of juggling the needs of six very different individuals. Lee moves through these hours with a grace that comes from deep within, a grace born of love and an unwavering commitment to her family. She is there at soccer games and ballet recitals, her presence a silent testament to her support and love.


Evenings in Lee's home are a time of togetherness. Dinner around the table is not just about nourishment for the body, but for the soul. Conversations flow, laughter rings out, and Lee is at the heart of it all, her presence a comforting, stabilizing force.


As night falls and the children are tucked into bed, Lee finds herself once more in the quiet of her writing space. Reflecting on the day, she pours her experiences, her emotions, her love into her stories, each word a tribute to the life she leads and the family she cherishes.


Lee's story is one of unending motion, of constant shifting between roles, yet at its core, it is a story of presence. Each day, she shows up fully, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. In doing so, she creates a world for her family that is rich in love, support, and creativity. Her presence is her power, a gentle yet formidable force that shapes the lives of those she loves most.



Key point #2

Lee's journey to fully showing up in her life as a mother, wife, and author hasn't always been smooth. There were days that seemed far from perfect, days when the challenges felt overwhelming. Before working with a life coach, Lee struggled with negative self-talk, a relentless inner critic that often undermined her confidence and joy. She would catch herself doubting her abilities as a mother and as a writer, questioning her worth in moments of stress and fatigue.


Alongside this, Lee experienced dissociation, a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. For Lee, this often manifested during moments of high stress or emotional overload. She would find herself going through the motions of her day, physically present but emotionally and mentally detached, as if watching her life from a distance. This detachment, while a temporary escape from stress, left her feeling disconnected from her family and her own needs.


Boundary setting was another challenge. With six children, a partner, and a career, Lee often found it hard to say no or to carve out time for herself. She felt stretched thin, trying to be everything to everyone, which only fueled her feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion.


The turning point for Lee came when her middle child began struggling in school. This challenge struck a deep chord within her. She saw her child grappling with feelings of frustration and low self-esteem, mirroring her own inner struggles. It was a poignant and eye-opening moment. Lee realized that in order to effectively support her family, she first needed to address her own well-being.


This realization led her to seek the guidance of a life coach. With her coach, Lee began to unpack the layers of her negative self-talk. She learned to recognize and challenge the critical inner voice, replacing it with compassion and affirmation. Her coach also guided her through techniques to ground herself during moments of dissociation, helping her to stay connected to her present experiences and emotions. Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing and mindful observation, became key tools in regaining her sense of presence.


Moreover, Lee worked on setting healthy boundaries. She learned the importance of saying no, of delegating tasks, and most importantly, of taking time for self-care. This didn't mean she cared any less for her family or her work; rather, it meant caring more intelligently, understanding that her well-being was crucial for her to be the best version of herself for her loved ones.


Over time, these tools transformed Lee's approach to her daily life. She became more present, more engaged, and found greater joy in both the challenges and triumphs of motherhood and her career. Her middle child's struggles in school became an opportunity for Lee to apply her new skills, offering support with patience and understanding, setting an example of resilience and self-compassion.


Lee's journey, though unique in its details, reflects a universal truth for many mothers. The path to fully showing up in life isn't always smooth, but with the right tools and support, it's a journey filled with growth, learning, and profound fulfillment.


Now let’s work to get you some of what she has.



[Music]

Segment: Mindfulness Practice: 

Let's embark on a journey together, a journey into mindfulness and presence, much like the one Lee took to transform her life. Find yourself a quiet and comfortable space where you won't be disturbed. It could be a cozy corner of your room, a peaceful spot in your garden, or any place where you feel at ease. Sit down in a comfortable position, whether it's on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground or on a cushion with your legs gently crossed. Allow yourself to settle into this space.


As you close your eyes, start by taking deep, slow breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your abdomen expand, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. With each exhale, let go of any tension or stress you might be holding in your body. Continue this breathing pattern for a few minutes, allowing each breath to bring you more into the present moment.


Now, gently shift your focus to a body scan. Begin at the tips of your toes, moving upwards through your body. Notice any sensations in each part of your body as you focus on them. Maybe there's tension in your shoulders, or perhaps a feeling of warmth in your hands. Acknowledge these sensations without judgment, simply observing them. This practice helps you to connect deeply with your body, anchoring you in the now.


As you continue with your deep breaths, start to turn your attention to your thoughts and emotions. Observe any thoughts that come to mind, whether they are worries about the future or memories from the past. Remember, it's okay if your mind wanders. When it does, gently guide your focus back to your breath. This step is all about observing your thoughts and emotions from a place of compassion and non-judgment.


Now, let's take a moment to envision a day in your life where you feel fully present and grounded. Imagine waking up feeling refreshed and at peace. Visualize yourself going about your daily tasks with a sense of calm and intention. See yourself interacting with your loved ones with patience and mindfulness, embracing each moment as it comes. Even when challenges arise, picture yourself handling them with grace and a grounded attitude.


Incorporate some affirmations into this practice. Gently repeat to yourself phrases that resonate with your intention to be fully present and grounded. Say to yourself, "I am here, I am present" or "I am grounded in this moment." Let these affirmations sink in, feeling their truth and power.


As we near the end of this practice, let's focus on gratitude. Think of three things you are grateful for in this moment. Gratitude has the power to shift our perspective, to help us see the abundance in our lives, further nurturing our ability to be present.


Gently open your eyes and take a few more deep breaths. Carry this sense of presence and groundedness with you as you go about your day and continue listening to this episode. Remember, mindfulness is a journey, not a destination. Each time you engage in this practice, you're taking a step towards a life of presence, much like the one Lee lives now. This journey is about embracing each moment, celebrating your progress, and being kind to yourself along the way.

[Music]


Key point #3

The power of simply showing up, especially on days when we feel overwhelmed or as if our lives are in chaos, is a profound and often underappreciated aspect of human resilience. On these days, when we might liken ourselves or our situations to a "dumpster fire," showing up can seem like an insurmountable task. Yet, there's immense strength and courage in just being present, in facing our challenges head-on, even when everything seems to be falling apart.


When we show up, regardless of how disheveled, exhausted, or stressed we feel, we're making a powerful statement. It's a declaration that despite the turmoil, the uncertainty, or the messiness of our current situation, we're still engaged in the process of living. This act of showing up isn't about being perfect or having all the answers; it's about acknowledging our struggles and choosing to engage with life anyway.


Think about a mother who wakes up feeling like her world is a bit too much, yet still gets out of bed, makes breakfast, and tends to her children. Her act of showing up doesn't erase the chaos, but it does demonstrate her commitment to her family and to herself. It's a testament to her strength and her willingness to face the day, no matter how daunting it seems.


Similarly, consider a professional facing a difficult period at work, perhaps feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. Choosing to show up each day, to contribute and engage with their tasks, is an act of resilience. It's a subtle but powerful way of affirming their ability to persevere, even in less than ideal circumstances.


Showing up when we feel like a "dumpster fire" is also a step towards self-compassion and healing. It's an acknowledgement that while we're not perfect, we're still worthy of effort and attention. This act can be a catalyst for change, a way of breaking the cycle of negativity and despair. It opens the door to possibilities - the possibility of a better day, the chance to find solutions, or the opportunity to seek help.


Moreover, showing up in the midst of chaos can be incredibly inspiring to those around us. It reminds others that it's okay to be imperfect, that it's okay to have bad days, and most importantly, that it's possible to keep going despite them. Our ability to navigate through our "dumpster fire" moments can provide hope and encouragement to others facing their own challenges.


In essence, the power of showing up, especially when we feel at our worst, lies in its simplicity and its honesty. It's a humble act of bravery, a quiet yet potent form of resilience. It's about embracing our humanity, with all its flaws and uncertainties, and choosing to engage with life in the most authentic way possible.


[Music]

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[Music]


Key point #4: 

Understanding the profound impact of showing up, both in therapy and life coaching, can be deeply personal and resonates with many who have embarked on this journey of self-discovery and improvement. When you consistently show up for these sessions, you're not just fulfilling an appointment; you are affirming to yourself that you are worthy of this time and effort. This is especially crucial for someone who has faced the challenge of making promises to themselves and not always being able to keep them. Each time you honor this commitment, you're reinforcing your self-trust, and this becomes a significant step in healing and growth.


When it comes to managing moments of being triggered, personalizing your grounding techniques is vital. For instance, using touch as a means to ground yourself, like feeling the solidity of the ground beneath your feet and the sensation of your fingers rubbing together, is a powerful method to regain your sense of the present. This tactile connection serves as a gentle yet potent reminder of your physical presence in the here and now.


However, when the intensity of your emotions escalates, employing a multi-sensory approach can be more effective. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a tool that brings into play all your senses to anchor you firmly in the moment. By focusing on the things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste, you're drawing your attention away from distressing thoughts and feelings, re-establishing a connection with the immediate world around you.


These grounding methods, be it the touch technique or the 5-4-3-2-1 approach, are more than just strategies; they're a testament to your resilience and commitment to self-care. They offer a way to regain control and reconnect with the present moment, even in the face of adversity.


It's important to remember that in sharing these practices and your commitment to showing up, you're not alone in this journey. Many others are walking a similar path, facing their own challenges and finding ways to overcome them. Your story, with its ups and downs, its triumphs and struggles, offers hope and inspiration. It serves as a reminder that while the journey towards self-improvement is deeply personal, it's also a shared human experience.


By embracing these practices and consistently showing up for yourself, you're not just coping with life's challenges; you're actively shaping a path towards a more grounded, present, and fulfilled self. This journey, with all its nuances, is a powerful narrative of resilience and the human capacity for growth and change.



[Music]

Lifehack segment:

Welcome to our Lifehack segment where we delve into the art of building self-trust, an essential component of personal growth and fulfillment. Self-trust is the confidence in one's own abilities, decisions, and inner wisdom. It's about believing in yourself and knowing that you can handle whatever life throws your way. Building self-trust is a journey, but with a few key strategies, it's a journey that can lead to a more empowered and confident life.


Firstly, start by setting small, achievable goals. When you set and accomplish these goals, you send a powerful message to yourself: you are capable and reliable. It could be something as simple as a daily 10-minute meditation or reading a book for 15 minutes before bed. The key here is consistency. As you tick off these small goals, your confidence in your ability to commit and follow through grows.


Next, practice self-compassion. Often, our biggest critic is the one inside our head. Start treating yourself like you would a dear friend. When you make a mistake or face a setback, rather than being harsh and critical, be kind and understanding towards yourself. This shift in self-talk from negative to supportive helps in nurturing a trusting relationship with yourself.


Journaling is another powerful tool for building self-trust. It's a way to connect with your inner thoughts and feelings. Write down your thoughts, fears, successes, and failures. This practice not only helps in self-reflection but also in recognizing and understanding your thought patterns and emotions. Over time, this recognition fosters a deeper sense of self-awareness and trust in your own judgments and decisions.


Listening to your intuition is crucial. Often, we have a gut feeling about what's right for us, but we ignore it in favor of logic or advice from others. Start tuning into these inner cues. The more you listen to and act on your intuition, the stronger your self-trust becomes.


Another lifehack is to celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Did you handle a difficult situation well? Did you speak up in a meeting? Celebrate these wins. Acknowledging and appreciating your successes reinforces your belief in your abilities.


Lastly, remember that building self-trust is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and persistent. Every step you take, every decision you make with confidence, every time you listen to your inner voice, you are laying another brick in the foundation of your self-trust.


Building self-trust is about setting and achieving small goals, practicing self-compassion, journaling for self-reflection, listening to your intuition, celebrating your successes, and understanding that it's a gradual process. As you integrate these practices into your daily life, you'll find yourself growing in confidence and becoming more in tune with your true self. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life, so invest in it wisely.

[Music]


Key point #5

Boundary setting is a crucial aspect of personal well-being and healthy relationships, serving as a vital link to all the topics we've discussed in this episode, including self-trust, showing up, and dealing with challenges like negative self-talk and dissociation.


Setting boundaries involves defining what is acceptable and what isn’t in terms of how others treat you, as well as understanding your own limits in terms of time, energy, and emotional investment. It's about knowing where you end and someone else begins. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual. They are the lines that you draw to protect your peace, uphold your values, and maintain your well-being.


Let's talk about what boundary setting looks like. It could be as simple as saying no to an additional responsibility when you're already stretched thin, asking for space when you need time to process your emotions, or deciding not to engage in conversations that disrespect your values or beliefs. It's about being clear and assertive about your needs and limits, without being aggressive.


The importance of boundary setting cannot be overstated. It helps in maintaining a sense of identity and personal space. Boundaries allow you to conserve your emotional energy, prevent burnout, and nurture your relationships by fostering respect and mutual understanding. They are essential for self-care and emotional health, enabling you to make decisions based on what is best for you, not just what is pleasing or convenient for others.


On the flip side, the dangers of not setting boundaries are significant. Without boundaries, you may find yourself overextended, overwhelmed, and resentful. This can lead to a loss of self-identity, burnout, and unhealthy relationships where your needs and feelings are consistently overlooked. Not setting boundaries can also exacerbate issues like negative self-talk and feelings of being disconnected or disrespected.


Tying it all back to our earlier discussions, boundary setting is integral to building self-trust. When you set and uphold your boundaries, you send yourself the message that your needs and feelings are valid and important. This reinforces self-trust and self-respect. In therapy and life coaching, setting boundaries is often a key focus, as it empowers you to take control of your life and contributes to a healthier mental and emotional state.


In moments of being triggered, having clear boundaries can help you navigate through the situation more effectively. It allows you to recognize when a situation is detrimental to your well-being and gives you the confidence to take steps to protect yourself, such as using grounding techniques or seeking support.


In conclusion, boundary setting is an essential skill that ties together the themes of self-trust, presence, and coping with life's challenges. It's about knowing and honoring your worth, understanding your limits, and communicating them effectively to others. As we move into the coaching questions segment, think about your own boundaries: Are they clear and well-maintained? How do they support your journey towards a more fulfilling and balanced life? Remember, setting boundaries is not about pushing people away; it's about safeguarding your inner peace and creating healthy, respectful relationships.


[Music]

Segment: Coaching Questions

As we transition into our coaching questions, let's take this opportunity to reflect deeply on our discussion today. These questions are designed to spark introspection and provide clarity on your journey towards building self-trust, setting boundaries, and managing life's challenges.


1. Self-Trust: Reflect on a recent decision you made. How did you feel about your ability to make that decision? What does this tell you about your level of self-trust?


2. Boundary Setting: Think about a time when you felt overwhelmed or overextended. Could setting a boundary have changed the outcome? What kind of boundary would that have been?


3. Negative Self-Talk: What is a common negative thought you often have about yourself? How can you reframe this thought into a positive, empowering one?


4. Dissociation Moments: Recall a recent moment of dissociation or disconnection. What triggered it? How might grounding techniques have helped you in that situation?


5. Showing Up: Consider a day when showing up felt particularly challenging. What motivated you to push through? What did you learn about yourself from this experience?


6. Moments of Burnout: Can you identify a time when you experienced burnout? What were the signs? How might better boundary setting have prevented it?


7.Celebrating Successes: What is one success, no matter how small, that you've recently achieved? How did you celebrate or acknowledge this achievement?


8. Listening to Intuition: Think of a situation where you followed your intuition. What was the outcome? How did it feel to trust your inner voice?


9. Personal Goals: What are two personal goals you have set for yourself? How do these goals reflect your values and the boundaries you wish to maintain?


10. Future Vision: Envision where you would like to be in your journey of self-improvement a year from now. What changes or achievements would you like to see?


These questions are designed to guide you through a process of self-reflection, helping you to understand and improve your approach to self-trust, boundary setting, and overall well-being. Take your time with each question, and be honest with yourself in your responses. The insights you gain can be powerful catalysts for change and growth.


CLOSING REMARKS & EPISODE SUMMARY

Episode summary:

In Episode 53 of "Wellness in Every Season," titled "The Art of Showing Up: Embracing Resilience and Self-Compassion," we delved into the life of Lee, a mother and writer, exploring the importance of being present and setting boundaries in the face of life's challenges. We discussed practical ways to build self-trust, ground ourselves during difficult moments, and the transformative power of simply showing up in our own lives. Our coaching questions aimed to inspire self-reflection, guiding listeners in applying these insights to their personal journey.

Looking ahead to next week's episode, get ready for "Episode 54 - A Mother's Guide to Non-Profit Success with Shee' Fisher." This title beautifully encapsulates the journey we will embark upon, exploring the unique challenges and triumphs of balancing motherhood with professional aspirations in the non-profit sector. Shee' Fisher, a mother and seasoned non-profit consultant, will share her invaluable experiences and insights. This episode promises to be a blend of personal stories and expert advice, offering inspiration and practical tips for those navigating the intersection of parenting and professional ambition. 

So, if you're a mother looking to make a difference in the non-profit world or simply seeking to balance your personal passions with parenthood, this episode is for you. Don't forget to subscribe to "Wellness in Every Season" so you won't miss this insightful conversation with Shee' Fisher. And if you're struggling with any of the topics we've discussed, or looking for guidance on your journey, remember that I am here to help. Reach out for coaching, and together, we'll work towards achieving your goals.


[Music]

Outro: 

Thank you for joining us on this week's refreshing wellness discussion. I'm Autumn Carter, your guide through the seasons of motherhood, and I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights during our time together.


If you resonate with the topics we explored today and want to continue your wellness journey, I invite you to follow me on Instagram at Moms Wellness in Every Season. There, you'll discover a wealth of ongoing wellness tips specifically curated for moms like you.


Sharing our podcast with others is an act of caring, and I invite you to spread the word by sharing, subscribing, and leaving a review wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Your support is deeply valuable to us and enables us to reach more mothers who are seeking transformation and empowerment.


If you have a specific topic you'd like us to cover in more detail or if you're interested in a free coaching consultation, don't hesitate to reach out. You can send me a direct message on Instagram or visit my website, wellnessineveryseason.com, to send an email. I'm here to support you on your wellness journey.


Thank you again for being a part of our vibrant community. I'm genuinely excited to connect with you, hear your stories, and continue this important discussion in the weeks to come.


Until next time, remember to prioritize your well-being, embrace every season with grace, and always strive for wellness in every aspect of your motherhood journey. Take care, and I can't wait to catch up with you soon.

[Music]




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