Who’s Managing Your Life While You’re Managing Everything Else

Today we are talking about who's managing your life while you're managing everything else.

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. We talk all things wellness regarding the environment that you spend a lot of your time in, your physical health, your intellectual health, your financial health, your spiritual health, professional health, your social health, who you have relationships with, your emotional health.

This is a really big umbrella, so expect all kinds of topics within all of these amazing dimensions of your wellness. Let's dive in

So this goes along with that delegation series that I've been kind of talking about. And today I have with me Andrew Lowry, and he is originally from the UK, now lives in the DC area, so fun accent here. And he was originally a household manager butler, and he has created his own staffing agency, and he's been doing it for 29 years.

And I know I did not do his bio justice, so I'll let him fill in the gaps, and then we'll get started with our questions. And thank you, Andrew, for being on, first of all.

Okay. Well, thank you for inviting me, Autumn. So yeah, I think you, you pretty much encapsulated my, my title. I'm not gonna say retired butler because I don't think one ever truly retires from something that you're passionate about.

But yes, i- in my former glory days, I, I was a butler. I arrived in America as a butler, and then 28, 29 years ago, I segued out of that role and decided, there was a, a niche, a gap in the marketplace for representing, private staff, and that's when I started Precise Home Management, and the rest is history.

We're 29 years and counting. we don't just place butlers. We place butlers, chefs, nannies, housekeepers, family assistants, personal assistants, the whole caboodle, so even, even dog walkers.

And I know that you also do training along with that to make sure they are up to par-

Sure,

sure ... what's expected of them.

As, as they say, all people are not created equal. And, and in our private service arena, there are some candidates who, you, you, you get to know the ones that have potential. You get to feel out the ones that are worthy of investing time with. And actually, those are ones that I really get excited about.

 I could give you many stories of candidates that have come to me with little to no experience, but, I handhold them through our process, and their eyes get big and wide because of the, the possibilities. You can go from the lowest end of the totem pole, which would be an, a, a housekeeper, and that's certainly no disrespect to a housekeeper, but within five years a housekeeper could be a house manager making possibly double- What they would make as a housekeeper.

So, and that's all without going to college. It's just about really, it's, it's a bit of a cliche. In our, in our industry we say, "Do you have a service heart?" And if you have a service heart, then, then sky's the limit. You, you can go wherever you want to take your career.

And I think that's really important because this hits on those who maybe are looking for a new career- Mm-hmm

are just starting out. And- Absolutely ... this also is for those who they have made it to a point where they can afford staff of whatever, whatever that means. Maybe it's a dog walker, maybe it's-

Exactly ...

someone coming on once in a while. Maybe it's somebody hired pretty much full time, help me out. And this really speaks to a lot of my podcast episodes that do the best are talking about burnout.

Right now we're talking about burn- burnout prevention- Yeah ... and even-

Absolutely ...

burnout recovery, and maybe you need other people to help you with this.

Exactly.

Yeah. So let's go with the first question.

Yes. Yes. The still... At first I was reading, I'm "We kinda answered this." So the second part of this we have not fully answered.

Mm-hmm.

You were professionally trained as a British butler and worked inside private homes and estates before creating Precise Home Management. So if you're looking for his name, now you know it.

What did that world teach you about what it actually takes to make a household run well?

Mm-hmm. Well, I, I, I used my training at the Ivor Spencer school in England a- a- as really the foundation, but I think it started way before then. I think it actually started in my first job as a waiter in a four-star hotel.

 it really taught me the standards and what attention to detail really meant. working inside people's private homes taught me how to apply that training to real people's lives. A beautifully maintained home can still, can still be poorly managed.

What makes, what makes it work is understanding the family, their routines, preferences, and how they like to live. ascertaining, really how they live, wrapping your arms around how they live, their responsibilities. You gotta be good at communication and definitely someone that follows through.

You, you cannot put things on the back burner when you work in a private home. as a butler estate manager, I learned that excellent service, often happens quietly. I always say we make the impossible possible, and we do it like magicians. You just, y- y- you suddenly, it's Christmas Eve and the house isn't decorated, and you come down Christmas morning and it's all been done as if by magic, as if the fairies have done it.

 and again, we, we, when we make it look that simple, you don't get a pat on the back, They, they... There's an acknowledgement, but you're not looking for that pat on the back. It's just you just make things happen as if by magic.

Your pat on the back is some of the friction is removed. You can, you can feel it within the family. And what's nice is even listening to this episode, if you're listening to this thinking, "I'm not there yet," he gave you clues on what you can do to make your own house function a little better. You want that feeling.

What needs to change within your family to get that feeling? Knowing that you can set this as a goal for I wanna be able to afford this. I want this in my life.

 or some- something, as I sit here myself and, and, I,

I own two homes and, and I'm segueing out of one, but myself as a businessman, even I see the value in having somebody come in and clean my house.

 the, the, the, the, there sort of may be a possible advantage because my friends joke with me and say, "Oh my God, you get people to try out in your house and they come and clean your house for free." I said, "No, not quite." But, that's a good idea. But no, I, I have cleaners that clean my own home because my time's consumed with business seven days a week.

And even though I love to iron. That's one of my... My father taught me how to iron when I was a young boy. But it's just time, it's time. I, I need to recapture my time, so it really, I see the value in having a housekeeper come in a- and clean the home.

I hate ironing. You can take all mine.

Do you? Oh, I love ironing.

I, it's so therapeutic.

My aunt's the same way. She lives in Arizona. I could ship her my stuff, right? Yeah. It'll come back ironed still? Probably not.

Yeah.

 let's do the, let's dive a little bit deeper. Since you are a business owner, obviously, what does it mean to you- Because you can step in your client's shoes in this way of...

 How does it feel to have that taken off you?

I say clients don't know what they don't know. And when you come in and you consult with a client, and they're pouring their hearts out, and, they're, they're wrapping their heads around the financial aspect of hiring somebody. But also, I, I, I sort of tempt them. I turn around and say, "Look, why don't I find somebody to come in just for a few hours?

Let's see what we get accomplished in a few hours." And, and they might be at work whilst this person is doing a project. Could be organizing a closet, could be rearranging the pantry. And they come in, and they do their thing, and they get back home from work, and that's when the phone, the phone will ring, and they're "Oh my God, I feel like...

I, I feel, I feel lighter in myself. My husband came back, he looked in the pantry and he could actually find his favorite item." And it's everybody, from the kids to... It's you, you can just sense the dog jumping up and down because even he knows where his, where his treats are now in the pantry.

So I think, I don't really know if I'm answering your question there, but it, it's, it's an immediate feeling, when, when you've got people in place and, and, and really performing and doing their job and lightening the load on the home front. And, around the holidays, as we approach the holidays now, if there's ever a time where you're gonna notice the most, from your staff is around the holidays.

It's crazy for anybody with or without staff. But, high net worth individuals, but even... You, you don't have to be a high net worth individual to value and appreciate what it is to have some help in the home, and that could be a, a simple thing like a dog walker. It could be somebody who just come... I've got a position I'm trying to fill in Ellicott City.

It's only from 6:30 till 9:30, but the, the family needs somebody in those early hours to help get the kids up and out the door because they're both working parents. And I'm sure they thought long and hard about where best to apply their, their surplus cash and where, So, we've got somebody just for those few hours, but it's making a world of difference to that family.

I probably didn't even answer your question there, Autumn, but anyway.

You did.

So the other part of that, and we talked about this when we, met with each other before. Tell me about clients who have finally used you and-

What they say. "I wish I had done this this many years ago," and Yeah ... that, that part of it.

I think, I mean, I've got repeat customers, and that's always the, the highest form of flattery and referrals is when a client comes back and a client refers us. But also, I, I own a company of 28 years.

You're not gonna please everybody. You are not going to please everyone. I'm very hard on myself, but when it's a referral and a placement, I'm gonna say a placement goes belly up. Placements can go belly up. Luckily, I have not had many in, in 28, 29 years. But when they do go belly up, they go belly up for a number of reasons.

Either the candidate misrepresented themselves with what they could really bring to the table. They decided, "You know what? I told Mr. Lowrey I could work from 9:00 till 5:00, but I knew I had to be back by 3:30 to get my child off the bus." These factors will play into why it doesn't work out. But when it does work out, the clients are referring us and, and they come back.

And many years after we place somebody, I, I placed people 10, 15 years ago, and they've come back to me, which, which is wonderful, and they're happy to know that I'm still in business, of course. The, and I think one of the things that separates Precise Home Management is our follow-up. We're not a transactional kind of business.

With- I always say we're there at the beginning when we place somebody, in the middle when you're, you're, just finding your footing in a new job, and at the end when somebody leaves or, or maybe somebody wants to leave because they're relocating. So we handhold candidates and clients, and I think clients appreciate that.

My phone is never switched off. I just returned from London. I probably did as much business in two weeks, whilst I was in London as I did when I was based here in Baltimore. But, I pride myself in that. I've got people in, within my own family, "Why don't you just tell them to call you back?" I've set this standard for myself.

But also, I think it circles back to when I was a butler. There was never a moment I said no. I mean, I might stand corrected. There might be some past employers who say, "No, Andrew, I remember when you said no." I truly do not remember ever saying no. It's a double-edged sword. Sometimes that can get you into trouble, but that's a whole different topic there.

And that's when you need to delegate higher.

Yes, and that's something I'm not so good at doing. But anyway.

We've had that conversation. Okay.

What are the signs that someone has reached that point? That was what I was trying to get to. I should have looked at my own notes.

When you're pulling your hair out. When you are constantly making reference to the chaos of the house and things aren't getting done. you mention it to, to spouses.

You're, you're taking it out on the children. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's a number of factors that, will, will come to the forefront sort of thing and I, and I think you start really more with less, less worrying about titles and really about wrapping your head around what is it that, needs to get j- needs to get done.

 I ask clients to really walk me through what it is that goes on in your work week, and it can be daily, weekly. and then it's... it allows us to really figure out who are the key people that, would make the difference in your home sort of thing.

I love that. And what I was thinking about is last week I met with somebody who developed a co-working space that also has childcare, and this is a really great opportunity for you to think about, is this what you need or do you need somebody like Andrew to help you find childcare, maybe house cleaning, maybe a driver, maybe a chef, whatever you need for your house care.

And it's really that really dig into what do you need, what are you visualizing, where is your stress, and realize that this allows you to have that space, that creativity, your own wellness. So this still goes in with my wellness world of let's get rid of all the things you don't want to do- Mm-hmm ... you don't have the mes- mental capacity for, so you can focus on your creativity zone for your business, your career, whatever it is that you're doing, so that you can focus more in there.

The, the, the... I think one of the biggest challenges, and this is something I deal with week in, week out, is really trying to-

share with clients.

They want, they want the one person that can do it all. if you've seen the Brady Bunch, you've seen all these. Does that really exist? occasionally, but there's only 24 hours in a day. You've got to set a tone and a pace that's right for your employees. You want a, an environment where they feel appreciated, that they're not overwhelmed.

 a- and we spend a lot of time hand-holding clients, especially people who've never had staff before. I see a lot of positions go belly up. There are so many factors that will play into what, what makes for a successful placement. Well, yes, we, we can train people. we want the people that are not clock watchers.

We want the people that don't mind staying behind an extra half hour. It's not a problem. They, they won't leave or walk out the door until they basically get the thumbs up from the lady or, or, or the man of the house. but a lot of clients, I, I have to wrangle them back in because they're expecting too much from these candidates, and it could be, "Oh, I want you to be the housekeeper.

I want you to be the nanny. I want you to be the dog walker. I want you to pick the kids up. I want you to cook food. Oh, and then I want you to run errands. Oh, and then I want you to take care of the plumbing, electrician, and the re- and the renovation project." Too many things. And then of course, we have to Be the messenger on what, and I think this is the biggest thing that I think a lot of our clients have the hardest time wrapping their heads around.

Not all the clients, but there's a few, is what, what are the going hourly rates? I've had the agency 29 years. I think when I first started, an hourly rate for a housekeeper was 20 to 25. So here we are, 30 years later, 29 years later. The going rate for a good housekeeper that is vetted, background checked, referenced will...

In, in Baltimore, let's use Baltimore as the example. I've not placed anybody on less than 80,000 in, in over four years. So if 80,000 is... And again, salaries are defined by square footage, how many people are in the home, pets, dogs, children. All these factors play a part. But, clients do get sticker shock.

But also I share the difference between hiring somebody at the lower end with no experience, and the difference between hiring somebody at the higher end who's very multifaceted in what they can do and what they're willing to do. I've got candidates who say, "No, I, I I like to be doing laundry. I, I like to be doing housekeeping.

I actually like to cook." those w- ones tend to be the exception to the rule. The, the latest finding, and I don't know if it's a generational thing, and it might be, I would say only 10% of the people I place really know how to iron How about that? I grew up, my father taught me how to iron and press my own pants.

He was, in the Air Force. But I can't tell you how many people do not know how to iron. So I think that's a whole nother segment of precise home management. We, we train and, and to be honest, when you're paying 40, 45, 50 bucks, you better be able to iron. You better know how to take care of cashmere and, and linens.

And if you don't, then we have to train you. everybody wants that high hourly rate, but unless you can deliver at that level, you're probably gonna be in more of the 30, 35. But, anyway.

What I'm hearing from you is that not only do you train the candidates, but you're training the clients as well.

Yeah. And you're acting as that buffer for both, which right there, there's coaching involved. There's so much involved that you do. There's a little bit of HR in there.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I, I, I... And it's not just... It, it, I must admit, it does tend to be w- with a lot of the newer high net worth individuals, clients.

 and, and I applaud their success, and I... But also, I want to be the messenger. I want to be the person that delivers realistic expectations. I- It's not up to me how they spend mon- their money. I don't care how they spend their money. I've worked for enough people and, and seen how they spend. I don't care.

But don't scrimp when it comes to household staff. It's one of the biggest investments you will ever make, and you get it right, you will have longevity, you will have loyalty. the simple gestures. What do I mean by simple gesture? How can you, how do we keep that good working relationship with an employee?

Doesn't even have to be in the domestic arena. I think this should transcend even in the corporate world. Although, once again, you go into the corporate world, you've got an HR department. You can't do this. You can't say that. In a private residence, there is no HR department. And, and this is what I teach and coach my clients.

It's different. Do... So many clients can get into the mindset, "Well, she's making nearly as much as my person in the office." And my response is, "Well, how about that? But guess what? She's doing your laundry. She's privy to all that goes on in your private residence. She's, she, she protects your pr- privacy.

 blah, blah, blah. She's there for you at the drop of a hat. Are you calling your staff for the weekend on, on their day off?" So I, I have to wrangle the clients in to say, "Take a step back. This is not the corporate world you're hiring for. Your employees operate at a different level. They, they have, they sign NDAs."

It's a whole, whole different ballgame. It really is.

Well, and what I think about and what has held me back before, and I would love to talk about this because I'm sure it has held other people back, and- Like there's a lot of emotions here for this, so I wanna give the space for that, for those that are hearing this is, this is your, your nest.

This should be your safe space that you're coming to. It's your home. And if it isn't, why? Just pause right there and, and why? And you don't wanna feel like somebody has moved things, changed your sacred space, s- stolen things, left doors unlocked. And if you want it to remain your sacred space, and maybe they adjust things so it fits you a little bit better because they're listening to you- Mm-hmm

and they're saying, "Okay, well, how do you like it now?" You- if you want those type of people, then set the expectation for it, and that also includes pay. That includes how you treat them, everything else. So yes, absolutely.

You've just touched on, something, Autumn, that is so true in what you're saying here.

I've got a, a client, we placed a, a nanny. She's doing an exceptional job, beyond exceptional. But now she's been there two or three months. Now the wife who works, and this happens, doesn't happen often, but it can happen. We're having to navigate now where the mother is suddenly not feeling like she's the mother because the children are gravitating towards the nanny.

And you see this occasionally. So now the nanny's having to... Nanny is doing a great job, but now the mother is re- before the nanny took them to appointments, before the nanny would... And now the mother's she's doing her day job and now throwing herself back. So there needs to be a conversation with the nanny to course-correct without her burning out doing her job and coming back still trying to be mom to the kids.

We've gotta find a happy place so the nanny doesn't feel like now she's hired as a nanny. Nanny, now she's just doing cooking and housekeeping, which is not what she wanted to do, because if she did, she would've got a job in that arena. So once again, a- as a consultant, as a person that placed this candidate, I have to now do a delicate dance to bring this up in a conversation with my client, and I know I can.

I've been doing this for long enough. I know I can bring it up in a tactful way and get a, a good end, end, end result sort of thing.

Yeah. And that's the reminder that it's quality over quantity with children.

Yeah.

Especially if for anybody who's feeling guilty like that with your kids. Yeah. They want the quality time.

Sure.

They wanna feel connected. You could be a stay-at-home parent and not have that connection with your children. Remember that if you're struggling with any of that guilt.

So I'm going to ask a question now that Andrew will email me the answer to, and it will end up in the newsletter. So which means I get to cherry-pick.

And this is one that we've talked about before, Andrew, when we met, is how does someone figure out what kind of help they actually need, and how do you determine whether someone needs a housekeeper, personal assistant, family assistant, chef, household manager, estate manager, driver, whatever? he gave a really good answer to this when he and I met before, so I'm excited to have that.

 and I'll let him cherry-pick the next question that he's going to answer in the newsletter as well. But for those that don't know, Andrew is not just ... He is physically located in Maryland with me, but his company expands across the United States. And tell us, for those who are "This feels like the right fit for me," or, "I want to research to see if it's the right fit for me," tell us where to find you.

Well, we're, we're based in, at the moment, offices are based in Mount Vernon. and we're looking to open up, an office on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. I've just purchased a property on the Eastern Shore, and, I think, I'm gonna open up an office in Easton or St. Michaels or somewhere. but yeah, we're, we're based here i- i- in Baltimore.

About 10% of our business is in the DMV. We've got ... This year seems to be the year of placements in Texas for some reason, but we'll, we'll, we'll take clients from anywhere. and we're happy to say that we're, we're ... We cover the whole United States, and I ... Reason I was in London was because I was working with a, with a, a, a client of mine who purchased a home in the Cotswolds, and I was staffing their home over there.

So it was great to be, great to be over there.

You're willing to do outside of the United States?

Absolutely.

Okay. Absolutely. So I stand corrected. Apparently, if you're on planet Earth-

Yes ... we will

help you.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. No, I, I, I've got clients in Europe, not too many, and there's, there's partners that I partner with in Europe.

But, part of my journey was working in Monaco and on private yachts. So, occasionally, not very often, I've helped to staff these big, large mega yachts for the summer season. So yeah, the location is not an issue.

So how do we find you? So- Email, social media, what's, what's

the best way? actually, social media, I think, my social media p- If you go to my social media page, I guess it's Precise Home Management.

If you really want to know about me, my journey, then, then you need to go to my social media page. And I think... And the very first picture, and I think I, I shared this with you, Autumn. The very first picture of me on that social media page is Andrew Lowrie at four years of age, and I'm in the back garden in our house in England.

And we grew up, Were we poor? I don't know. But anyway, I know we didn't have a washing machine, if that defines you as poor. Anyways, but there's a picture of me at four years of age, and my mother, she had a lot of illnesses. We didn't have a washing machine, and we didn't, couldn't, probably couldn't afford to go to the laundromat.

So I remember washing the sheets in the bathtub as a four-year-old boy. And then we had a mangle. If people don't know what a mangle is, Google it. Autumn, you're shaking your head. So a mang- You might call it something different. So a mangle was a apparatus, with two wheels on, and you fed the clothes through and turned the handle, and it would squeeze all the water out.

We called it a mang- They had them at

the car washes growing up.

Oh, really?

Yeah, in Arizona.

Yeah. Okay. So we called it a mangle. Anyway, we'd... I would put the clothes through the mangle, squeeze out all the surplus water. I then would put the clothes into a bucket, walk up the steps, lower down the washing line.

I'm, yay big. Lower down the washing line, stand on my tippy toes to put a peg in my mouth to put the clothes on the line. Of course, I'm so small, but the, the sheets were getting dirty because they were dragging on the ground. But there's a picture of me, I guess my father would've taken it. That is my first picture on my Instagram account, but I think it really sets the tone of I was destined to be in service.

 it, it really does because even as a young boy, there were four kids in the family, I was always the one in the kitchen. I was going into the woods gathering blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, making jelly and jam. At 10, I was making cider and, and getting drunk, if I recall. My parents find out I was, I was fermenting cider and apples.

 but it really... I think it clearly, I was the one who enjoyed being in service, whether it be in the kitchen or helping out in the house. And it, it... The signs were there for me, and, here I am at 64, still giving of myself, being in service, which I love.

And here's the thing is w- this podcast, nothing resonated with you.

Maybe this spot right here did, because he found his purpose and he continued with it. If you don't feel like you're in that spot right now, talk to me. If you feel like you're in a spot where you need help with your family, talk to Andrew.

 Autumn, the,

the, having lived in Bournemouth for 28 years, 30, 30-plus years now, heaven's above, 30-plus years, if there's one thing that I would like to really get the word out about, not just about my business and about how people can benefit from, from hiring a service like ours, but it's really about people who Many don't know their path career-wise.

 I, I feel like I should be going into schools. A- a- and again, the word on the street, "Go to college, go to college, go to college." Well, guess what? I didn't go to college. Not because I didn't want to go to college, I didn't go to college. But I was in the trenches at 16 working in hotels and loved it, proving myself But the purpose of where I'm going with, where I'm going with this is if you're in the world of hospitality, and when people say to me, "How do I get into this business?"

I say, "It's not that difficult. First of all, do you have a servant's heart? Do you care about people? Do you care about how things look?" And I turn around and say, "Go and get yourself a job at a hotel. Do not get yourself a job at Comfort Inn, Red Roof Inn, not because they're bad." I say, "You shoot for the stars.

You go and get a job at Ritz Carlton, The Four Seasons, or Re- Relay Chateau chain hotel. They operate at a much higher level, and the people who are likely to hire you can relate to the level of service. That is your foothold, your first footing into getting into the world of private service, and you get three years under your belt making what they pay you in these hotels."

But we all pay our dues. But you can leave there and walk into a job paying 40 bucks an hour, and within five years be making 120,000 without going to college and getting into debt. But anyway, that's a whole side thing there. I just threw that in there because I see I've got jobs that I cannot fill. How about that?

In this day and age, I know retail doesn't pay that much, but I have jobs even at the low end, 35, I can't fill them because I just don't have the people. So that's something I just wanted to share with you.

So if you are looking for a job and you have a service heart, there you go. And if you are not sure what you need, jump into the newsletter or jump onto Andrew's website.

Tell us where to find you on your website.

So website is precisehome.com.

Yep. That's how I found him, and then asked him to be on. But it's always better if he's saying his own website.

And also- But that's another- ... look, I, I think it's important

whether you be a client or a candidate, go read my Google reviews.

I mean, I, I think they're important. I can... But I think, and even also with your business, Google reviews do somewhat, help mold a, a company's reputation and, like any business is, there's a couple of one stars, but that keeps it real.

Yep. We've

had that conversation too. You're not always gonna, you're not always gonna please everybody.

And I always get a little wary when a company doesn't have any one star reviews.

I actually like to read those because- Yeah ... those give me a really good idea about the company.

Yes.

Usually when you read them and they're a one star review, you get a really good idea for that person who left the review.

Yeah. Yes.

And for how the company responded. Sometimes they don't need to respond If they did respond, it would look worse on them ...

you're, you're, you're spot on. Yeah. The smart ones will be able to interpret. Huh. So that, that's why I, that's why I don't... It's not that I don't care about them. I don't, I respond in kind, but I'm not gonna lose any sleep because I look at the positive reviews from clients and candidates, and that's what matters to me.

Don't chase after the ones that aren't worth time. Yeah. And that's- Ex-

exactly ...

you can apply that to anywhere in your life. Thank you so much for being on, Andrew, and we look forward to your answer in the newsletter, and I hope everybody has a great rest of their day.

Awesome. Thank you so much. Have a great weekend as well, okay?

Thank you so much for joining our discussion. If you enjoyed this, please like, subscribe, most of all, share the love with others. Please share this episode so that we can help other people really recalibrate every aspect of their lives so they can be the best version of themselves, and I will see you in the next episode.

I want to have my quick disclaimer here that this is not a one-size-fits-all. If you want one-on-one coaching, let's talk, and we will make sure what wellness means to you is really put into your life, put into practice. I am using my undergrad in applied health and my life coaching experience to bring this podcast to you