Timing and Grace in Business

Today we are talking specifically about timing and grace in business.

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. We talk all things wellness to help you align yourself, align with your goals, g- find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself. If you are listening for the first time, welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here, and let's get started in the rest of the podcast.

Chanda and I were just talking about her own experiences. She's gonna be the one mostly talking about this, especially recent ones, so you'll see a lot of visceral reaction from her talking about this.

There's so many times in owning a business, and I'm sure for those that are listening that don't own a business, you're still gonna resonate with this, where you have this goal in mind, but the timing doesn't work, and you're just pushing. And if you hustle, you're gonna get through this, and it does not work.

It becomes this huge dumpster fire. So we're gonna be talking about that specifically, and we're gonna be talking about burnout with that because right there is where burnout happens for most people. Mm-hmm.

So let me fully introduce my guest. She says her journey began in the military service in the US.

She's a Navy veteran. And she has done logistics project manager, where she learned structure, leadership, and how to stay steady under pressure. I'm sure you did doing that.

And what really shaped her was learning how to bring heart into that structure, and over time she realized that real leadership isn't just about performance. It's about purpose, peace, and people. And that realization has led her into coaching and who she is today, and she says she wants to help women build from a place of alignment, not anxiety, which is totally what we're talking about today.

So thank you for being on. I'm very excited you're here. I'm very excited for this conversation, especially with the stuff that you've had come up recently for you.

Yes. Well, I'm super excited to be here. I love the topic idea. I think it resonates, like you said, for anyone who's just living life, right?

Because life, as they say, sometimes life. And it doesn't just happen in business, but it also happens as moms or career women or wherever we find ourselves, and so I think it will resonate, and I'm excited to have this conversation. Absolutely.

Thank you. Where do you wanna start this conversation?

What feels aligned and, the right direction for you?

Well, I guess we can talk first things first about what does grace look like in a business, right? Because Social media will sell you on the idea of business being sexy, right? Having your own business, being your own boss. It's a sexy thing to do, right?

It is, don't get me wrong. I'm not selling it short because that's my lane, but it is also work. And like you said, when things don't go as planned, what do you do? Because you're still a human, and you still have responsibilities, and you still have non-negotiables. And so I think in those moments it's really important to have some type of foundation, to have community and support, and to be nice to yourself and to give yourself permission to change Your mind, your direction, or to slow down or to put things off in those seasons.

And so we can talk about what that looks like, if you like from that perspective.

As you mentioned, I am smack dab in the middle of that. I was at a conference in February and got a phone call, that a young lady had passed away, and we weren't close but she's the same age as my daughters, right?

And I took it really bad, and it just kinda shook me because as a mom, I'm thinking about all of the things, right? Because she's the same age as my daughter, she left children behind, and I was just, it was a lot for me. And you just have to process it.

And so ironically enough, my 26-year-old was like, "Mom, you said you were coming to see me." She lives in Chicago. I said, "You're right, baby," and I got on a plane and I went to see her, okay? I got stuck in a snow storm on the way home.

Aw. And you're like- But- ... "This is why I live where I do and not there."

But this is what we do as moms, whether we have businesses or not, right? We deal with those hard moments, and when our children call us, we show up for them. And we had a trip planned, internationally, for spring break for my grandchildren, it was planned since last year. We went to Europe for two weeks, and so we went on the trip, and on the way back we got sick, me and the kids, the grandkids got sick.

They got better within days. In days they were back to bouncing around, into everything. Me, I was sick for six weeks. It took me three weeks to get better and three weeks to get back to normal. And I'm very healthy, okay? So right as I was coming out of that, okay, so this is February, March.

We're now in April. Coming out of that my mom's house catches on fire. My mom is elderly, her husband is elderly, and I actually moved closer to her because her husband is terminal. He has end stage COPD, and I wanted to support her as she goes through that. And in 2018 I lost my brother to gun violence, and she's raising my niece.

And so it's her, my niece, and her terminal husband. And so I'm like, "Okay, let me get you situated," get her into a hotel, and I'm like, "We're gonna deal with this when we get back." I'm one of five siblings left, so I thought surely there would be some corralling. Nothing happened. By the time I got back from this conference she was still needing assistance, and so I just pulled my boots up and said, "We're gonna get it done."

And so within three weeks I got her house packed, purged, downsized, and got her resettled.

Yeah, you did logistics in your career before.

As we were doing that, I got word that one of my mom's childhood friends, who I called an aunt, had passed away, and I thought I had time to see her. And so it was like, oh, wait a minute.

What is happening here? But the point is, I'm a business owner. I'm successful. I love what I do, but there are still times when we have to take a moment for ourselves, right? When life is lifing, it's okay to say, "You know what? I'm gonna take a step back.

I'm gonna regroup. I'm gonna give myself permission to re-baseline and then to start again," right? Because who doesn't understand that? Who won't understand that? Who does that not resonate with, right? And so when we have those moments when our children need us, my daughter's 26 in the Navy, and she said, "Mom, can you please come see me?"

26. I said, "Yes, baby, I'm on my way." It doesn't stop. We don't stop being friends or loving our children or wanting the best for them, no matter how old they get. And so we still have to take a moment, and that is the sexiness of being an entrepreneur, is that we can do that, right? And in the moments that you can't, then you still have to say, as a non-negotiable, "Do I have bandwidth to take these moments away from my business in order to care for my family, or how do I balance that?

And then what does my support system look like in those hard moments so that I can get the help and the support I need, or I can vent?" Because sometimes that does help, and other people can tell you, that what you're going through is normal, it's natural, and don't be so hard on yourself, because we all need to hear it.

And sometimes someone say just be. Go turn your phone off," which is my thing, I unplug. I'm like, "I'm turning my phone off. I'll call you guys in a week. If it's an emergency, reach out. Otherwise, I need my time." But you have to know that for yourself, and you have to be willing to give that to yourself, and I think more people need to hear that,

see, we're talking business, but all of that applies to anybody, really.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

And we forget that. We're, we can be so overwhelmed and we're getting all these text messages while we're trying to focus, or emails are pinging, and we forget that we can put on do not disturb.

We forget that just like our devices need to charge, so do we.

Absolutely. I love that.

And we can feel like, well, what if something happens if I take off my smart device on my wrist, my watch, whatever, and you put all of it away. How did we all survive the '90s? The 2000s. We forget these things, right?

Yeah.

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That we don't need to be connected. We don't need to be checking our email all the time. We don't need to have all the notifications on on every single thing. And we forget that the reason why we started a business- ... or got into XYZ career-

Exactly ...

is so that we could have XYZ lifestyle.

I think it's so key to have community, right? To have those relationships with people you trust when they come to you and they say, "Hey, it's okay. You know, take a break," or, "I think you should step back for a little bit. Like, it's okay. You're not failing. Like, life is life-ing."

And you need people to speak life into you or to encourage you during those moments. So you know like you don't have to stay stuck in hustle mode. You don't have to do this by yourself. And then a lot of times in community, people are willing to help you. And even in situations with clients and things like that, outside of systems and automations and all those things- Your clients are human, and so if you communicate what's going on, people are always graceful in business.

Especially if they know your heart and they know you as a person. So as a service provider, I deal with my clients one-on-one, so they know my heart and they know my energy. They know how I show up. And if I can't, they're like, "Okay, no." Like, seriously. So I'm very transparent, and so I think it's important to be that way if you can, right?

As a pro- products provider, you can't always do that. But in services you can, and I think that's the importance of, humanity in relationships.

And it can be hard to remember that not showing up all the way, it totally reflects on you, and that's not what they're paying for in time and money and energy

Oh, yeah

Usually it's coaching w- with what we're talking about. So my question is: How do you find your people?

What's your recommendation,

what would you do for somebody who's just starting out and wants that?

Oh, so what I tell everybody is if you can't afford to join a paid community, there's plenty of free communities on Facebook. They have them for every subject, every idea, every genre, every expertise. If you go to Facebook and you search, you will find a bunch of groups for whatever you're looking for right?

And what I tell them is go in, introduce yourself, be value-added, reach out. Like integrate yourself into that community. When you have questions, ask questions. If you see someone doing well, congratulate them because it doesn't cost you anything to be kind to someone, right? And so it doesn't take a lot to find a community.

And with Facebook's own being so large and vast, a lot of people will think "There's no one like me." But there's billions of people. There's at least five or 10 of you in there, I promise.

It's so different from growing up with school where it's like- feel like the outsider. I can't find the people-"

Yeah

"who are my people." And then you graduate to life and you realize- there are, I can find people like me."

Yes. Reminds me of, is it Madagascar with the zebra and he finds all the other zebras?

We actually just showed that to the kids a couple months ago for the first time ever.

Yeah. But and, and life is like that, right?

And so the thing is as adults, we make it hard to put ourselves out there. But when you show yourself friendly, you'll find friends. And when you show yourself to be a community type and open to community and go into those spaces, then you'll find your people. So be brave. Go out there.

And this is important because you were talking about this, and I'll talk about it further, that it can feel so lonely when you start-

your own business. Especially when you're starting to talk about the concept with maybe family members who don't get it.

Who, "Why would you wanna start a business? Yeah ... sounds so scary. Why would you give up your career? You're not talking to the right people.

No.

So this is where you find your community, and you can start to really develop the idea further with help.

This is where you can join things like SCORE. SCORE is free, and it's amazing. And you can find it, it's, US-based, and you find it based off of what state you're in. I'm sure you can find something like that if you're in a different country. I know that this podcast is global. So there are so many things out there.

There are Facebook groups. If you're not on social media, SCORE, Google it, find other groups that are off social media. I have found it to be incredibly helpful to have people who are where I'm at, behind where I'm at- Mm-hmm ... and ahead of where I'm at.

Exactly.

And having that be my, my own village. And if you think of it like a tree how many people is it?

And there's actually studies that you're the sum of, I think, the five, I think it's five people-

Oh, yeah. Close to 15 ...

So think about that. Are these people who uplift you and everything? And I'm sure these are people that you've had to lean on-

Yeah

during these hard several months that you've had.

Yeah. I

 think that's important, and this is where I think a good coach or mentor comes into play.

Yes.

And so again, I tell people, You always get the people who say, "I can't afford it," right? And I'm like, "It's not always about the money. It's about someone that you trust who speaks life into you, who you want to be like in a certain way or capacity," right?

And they can kind of help guide you in your journey. So you trust them enough to kind of be vulnerable with them and tell them the thing that you want to accomplish. But that is definitely where coaches come into play in the sense that you should always find a coach who has done the thing that you want to accomplish, has the receipts, so be careful with that.

But they can basically show you, "This is how you'll get to your next place because I've walked that out."

And faster than they did.

Yeah. And so you can leverage that experience, so you don't have to bump your head the same way they did,

yeah. So what does that have to do with, you talked about grace.

Mm.

How does timing play into this?

Timing plays into everything. I think more people don't consider capacity, which goes into time. And so one of the things I talk to my clients about, and I'm big on, is alignment. And so if I have someone who is like me with aging parents and they may still have younger children.

If you don't have the capacity for the thing that you wanna accomplish, it can be an amazing idea, but if you don't have bandwidth, it's just gonna not work. It's gonna be frustrating. It's gonna be a very hard thing to do, and you're gonna find yourself burnt out because you either don't have the support, you don't have the systems, or you don't have the capacity, which ties into your time.

And it's so important to make sure that you are aligning those things. And so when we talk about that upfront, we're talking about let's do a life audit. What are your non-negotiables? What does that look like? How much time do you actually have in your day? Are you still working in your day-to-day job and you're trying to start up a business?

And so how much time realistically can you put into that business? And if it begins to scale and grow, will you be able to walk away from your, employment, right? Does it, is it gonna hold your benefits, or will you have to keep your employment in order to continue your business? You have to decide at some point what's your breakaway point.

Some people can't break away right away because they're not ready to take on the responsibility of having their own benefits for their family, right? And so all those things need to be looked at and need to be decided upon. So when we say let's do a life audit, let's talk about what capacity you have, what are your non-negotiables in your life, what are the things that you can walk away from and what are the things you can't, because you can't start and scale a business with no time.

It's not gonna happen for anyone.

What I was thinking about are the people who have those ebbs and flows. And half the reason why that happens is because you're not prepared for it.

Oh, yeah.

Right? And especially for somebody who they are emotionally... And we are emotional creatures. We forget this.

We... And then we put logic into the emotion of why we chose something. And we can be so stuck on I still need to keep this career because of fear.

Mm-hmm.

And then it can create that ebbing in our business.

Mm-hmm.

Things are doing well. This is when we should transition, but we're afraid, so then it starts to ebb away.

How many people decide to go for it and start their business, and they don't realize that they're not quite ready yet?

I think there's more than what we know.

Right.

I think there's more than we know, but I think also there's a difference between self-trust, is when there is the fear.

Every entrepreneur, every successful entrepreneur has a level of self-trust where they're willing to trust themselves enough to take that leap off of the ledge. And those that don't, won't, and they just continue in a nasty cycle most of the time. There's a few that finally get the courage up or either life happens where they mess up at work so bad because they're so tied in between and burnt out that they have to push everything into the business, right?

And so then they do well because now it's sink or swim. But for those that start the business and they're not ready a lot of times it's because they don't have the logical piece, which goes back to the SOPs, the workflows, the processes, the roles, responsibilities, understanding fully the capacity they need to start the business, the resources they need to start the business,

and so, it's really important, again, to have the mentor or the community or the resources where you can tap into to get that information so that you can be best prepared to lean into the thing that you say you wanna do so you don't get burnt out, because you'll find that you're running in place and you're like, "I'm doing all the things, but I'm not making progress," and it's, well, you're not doing the right things.

So let's talk about what's the right things for the thing that you wanna accomplish, right?

And it's so hard. You go into business thinking, "I'm gonna do this part," and it's so fun. And then you forget that you're actually asking for more adulting stuff, the boring stuff, the more paying bills, maybe you're somebody who's really good at the organizational stuff- Yeah ... or maybe you're not, and then you find out that you need to be more of one or the other than you expected, and it's, there's a lot there. What advice or words of encouragement do you have for somebody who they are ready, they are at the starting blocks, thinking of the running analogy, but they have the distinct impression not yet?

I would ask them why. And I think one of the first things that you need to have outside of understanding your capacity is why you wanna do the thing that you wanna do. Because if you don't have a why that is strong enough to hold you when you're not motivated, when you are having a bad day, then you're gonna walk away, right?

And so if you are thinking, "I wanna do this thing, but I'm not sure if it's the right time," there is never gonna be a right time. It's like having children.

I get to X amount of money, yeah, I've heard you.

Yeah, there's never the perfect time. And so it's really about you willing to do the work and make the commitment.

And so when we talk about the capacity piece and we talk about the time piece, then it is, okay, I can commit to doing this thing this amount of time during the week so that I can achieve success in my business. And so that's the commitment. And the self-trust comes in because when you make a commitment to yourself, when you keep it, it increases your self-trust, it increases your confidence because you're showing yourself that first things first, you can keep your word to yourself, and that does wonders for your self-esteem more than anything else in the world.

When you show up for you, the sky's the limit.

Those are the people who glow that I wanna be around, compared to the people who are so selfless they're not taking care of themselves.

Yeah, that's right. Because those people wanna hear about me. Mm-hmm. Which can be fun sometimes.

Sometimes you wanna talk about yourself, right? But for me, I have a lot more joy in hearing about somebody else.

Yeah.

And getting those, oh, a-ha moments or, oh, that's- Yeah ... that connected something else for me that I've wondered about that I never took the time to really go beyond just, "Oh, I wonder," and then move on to the next thought.

Yeah. Have you ever had that conversation with somebody and you're like, "There's a puzzle piece right there"? Or, "Oh, I'm interested enough about that I'm gonna go Google it later."

Yeah.

Those are the conversations that I want. I'll I'll be okay for five minutes talking about myself, and then I'm like, "And now I'm done 'cause I know about myself."

Exactly. I wanna hear about something else, right?

And then my thought is for those who the timing's not right yet because you need to wait for your child to be potty-trained or, you know, whatever, or you need to wait until you're done with your degree, or you need to have something paid off to whatever life so that you can get there.

It sounds like it's going back to doing an audit.

Mm-hmm.

So you know when the timing's right. Maybe this is the time where you start joining groups, and maybe instead of actively participating you can be a little bit of a A stalker? Yeah. Not a stalker. What would be a better word? Like, you're more just peering through the window.

Yes.

You're not actively participating, but you're actively learning and gaining- information. And you can be joining maybe other groups or going out and talking to people who would be your ideal client. You can be getting market research this way. There's other things that you can be doing to be preparing, and you can think of it like that tree-

Mm-hmm

You might not be seeing the buds, you might not be seeing the growth up top, but you're growing your roots.

Yeah.

So I've had to struggle through that myself I feel like I'm not growing where you can really see it. I can feel stuff happening down below with the roots, but come on now.

And it's that reminder of anybody who has spent any time around plants, it can look like nothing's happening, and then all of a sudden there's a shoot, and then it starts growing from there.

I love that analogy. I think that does resonate a lot, and I do have that a lot with my clients, but I give them all a plan of action.

So one program they get a 90-day plan of action, another program they get one up to a year. But I do find it clears the clutter in their brain a lot, right? We come up with courses of action, and we put that into a plan of action. And so it becomes very clear to them immediately, like, "I may not be able to do these things right now, but I can do these other things in parallel."

And so they're not losing momentum, because they feel like they're doing something or they can do something. And so it is keeping that engagement. I think, The Science of Getting Rich is the book. And he says, "We owe it to our highest self and to our creator every day to get up and do everything in our ability towards moving towards getting rich."

But the way I like to convey that is you do everything in your power every day to move towards achieving your goals, right? So if you set your goal to launch a business or to re-baseline and scale a business or to pivot or whatever the goal is, to lose 20 pounds, right? Do everything in your power every day to get up and to move towards your goal.

And so I apply that every day in life. As a woman of older age , you can start being more concerned about your health and so I am very intentional about every day I gotta get up and I gotta move my body. Every day I gotta get up, gotta watch what I eat. Doesn't mean I can't have a bag of chips, but I can't have a bag of chips every day, okay?

So we just have to learn to be intentional that way in everything that we commit to in our lives.

I like that. Mm-hmm. And that reminds me of another podcast episode that I listened to where she talked about you can take kitten steps-

Mm ...

instead of baby steps, 'cause those are smaller.

Yeah.

And if you think about that, it can feel so painful, right?

Mm-hmm. That it's going that slow. Yeah. But when you look back, the fact that you even took those steps, you're getting further-

Exactly ... than

if you never did anything, if you waited for everything to be perfect.

Absolutely. Progress over perfection every time.

And the other thing I say is you set three goals a day, but one is a non-negotiable.

So what's the one thing you're gonna do today? If you get it done, great. If you can get the other two done, great. But if not, we gonna celebrate the one, okay? We're gonna celebrate all achievements. And so don't have to look at it like, "Oh my God, I only got one thing done." No, but you made progress.

Love that.

that's okay. Yeah.

And what was the other part? There are a few things that I wanted to pick off over the topic that you said you wanted to speak on.

Where does faith come into this? Whether you're religious, whatever higher power you believe in-

...

How do you bring faith into your business? Because for so many people, they keep them separate

I believe that I am one person.

I am not fragmented. I am not separated. Even though women, we wear many hats, right? I am a mom, a daughter, a sister. I am a grandmother. I could give you a list of 20 things, but they all make and encompass me, right? And I think my faith and what I believe very much is the foundation of what I stand on, and it is the foundation of how I embody my business.

And so even though I coach women in business my faith in that is like, I'm gonna show up as my best self and I'm gonna show up and give them my best because that's the type of person I have, and that's how I embody my faith. I embody my faith by showing you in faith who He is through me, because I'm a Christian, right?

And you may not be a Christian, and that's okay, but that's how I embody my faith. In everything I do, I wanna do it in excellence, so, and integrity. And so when you get to know me, you're gonna be like, "Oh, wow, I haven't heard her curse," because I don't curse, right? I'm big on my words. I'm big on being intentional about my words, so I tell my clients, "Uh-uh-uh, we gotta talk nice to ourselves.

We only speak life." So let's celebrate something. If you're having a bad day, I'll listen to it the first time, then I'm gonna say, "Okay. Next time, uh-uh-uh, we did that last time. Let's fix it. How are we gonna fix this? What does that look like?" And so I show up authentically as me, embodying what I believe to be God in my business, but also as my person and my persona and my language.

I love that, and the idea of not having as many masks-

Yeah ... '

cause you're just you

What you see is what you get every day.

How much energy savings is that alone? And the fact that you're allowing that inspiration to come.

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't cloak it. I am, I'm very open with my clients that I'm a person of faith.

I don't beat you over the head with it, right? I've had all types of clients. And so but I don't not express it. I allow you to be authentic and, autonomous, but I'm also the same way,

and that feels refreshing that if you allow yourself to be that way, it's so much easier to allow somebody else.

Where I found in areas of my life when I have been unreceptive to certain parts of people, it's because I'm not receptive to those parts of myself.

Yeah.

Those are parts that I need to heal.

No.

So it's been very interesting.

The other question is ambition.

Mm-hmm.

Because we can become overambitious, so it sounds like a lot of this is let's come back to your goals.

Let's come back to instead of the shiny object syndrome, let's come back to everything that we have set up foundationally.

What else helps to keep alignment?

I was gonna say I think it is really based around your personal and your core desires, right? And the reason I say this, and also say knowledge and wisdom and mental capacity 'cause everybody doesn't have that depth in order to manage millions, billions of dollars, because you have to become that person to handle that, right?

And so it's an honest conversation that you have to have with yourself, and I really don't believe that you can go further than where you are here. 'Cause as you think, you become. And so it is just about honesty. It's about self-awareness. It's about doing the work and whether you think you can or you can't, right?

So I don't think ambition is a bad thing as long as it is alignment, as long as there is balance, as long as you're not chopping someone else up to get up the totem pole. You're, actually putting in the work, and you're showing up, and you're still living life. So a lot of people forgo living life to climb a ladder, and it's you get to the top of the ladder, and it's like, "Okay, what am I doing here?

Where'd everybody go?" And so it's just making sure that you have a foundation, a grounding I'll say, and then you also have capacity for it.

I've noticed the biggest part that helps in growing a business is taking care of yourself. Having those boundaries-

Oh, yeah ...

and making sure that you are authentically yourself.

And the best way to do that is healing yourself.

It's amazing how much comes up from owning your own business,

yeah.

I grew up with business owners as well, so I've been around that, and it's amazing how much your business grows or- shrinks based off of how are you taking care of yourself?

What are your boundaries? Are you visualizing the next steps, and are you getting out of your own way? Are you putting hurdles in front of yourself and then getting mad when you're getting tripped up, when you're the one doing it to yourself? It can be so frustrating to have the friction, and the friction is you.

Self-sabotaging. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it totally goes around along with honoring your purpose. When you're not clear on your vision, it makes it hard because you keep course correcting but you're not sure where the course is.

Yeah.

I've been around those people. I was gonna say- I've been those people

Speaking from experience.

Oh, yeah. And it can be very frustrating. And, it goes with the question of- When do you either sink or swim? When do you know which is the better course to do when you're struggling?

Like I mentioned before, self-awareness is key to so many things.

Like, I'm really big on self-awareness and just taking moments for yourself. And if you've... I talk always about self-care. I think self-care is a system. I think everybody should take self-care because if you're not capable, then it all goes away anyway, and it's for what, right?

And so that's the mindset you have to have. And then boundaries is the part that makes it all doable. Like I said, I unplug. It's like, who unplugs in 2026? I do. But the reason I do that is because I understand that I am the non-negotiable in my business, and so there is no business without me. And so all the things that I wanna accomplish with it, I have to be my best self in order to do that.

And so when you talk about sinking or swimming, letting go and moving on and pivoting and all those things, some of it is best for you because maybe you're having a health crisis or maybe something's going on in your family and it's just not sustainable, and you have to give yourself permission to pivot and to let go so that you can be your best self, so that you can recover, and so then you can come back again versus you wearing yourself into the ground, stressed on both sides, and it's just really not gonna be a good outcome.

Not to say that has to be the situation, hopefully, but, just using it as an example of one of the things that could be going on that could cause you to say, "Do I, fight another day?" Or do I say, "You know what? Today I'm gonna stop fighting. Today I'm gonna let go. Today I'm gonna focus on me, and I'm gonna make sure that I'm okay so that I can make sure that my family is okay," and then we can always come back and revisit this.

I was talking to someone before about capacity with young children, and I explained to them that a mother who has a business who may be successful and they're ready to scale, she may not have capacity to scale, not because she's not mentally capable, but because she has young children and it's better for her to show up at the ballgames, for the doctor's appointments, than it is for her to scale a business.

You can always start and run and scale another business. You cannot get those moments back. And if you don't have the personality to endure that and the regret and possible rejection that the kids may have later on because you missed those moments, 'cause they're not gonna understand as children, then it's not the time.

And so it's okay to say, "I'm just gonna m- maintain the business, and we're gonna take it slow," or, "Maybe I'm gonna put this aside for now until later," depending on what it is, and if it can survive because, you know, times change so quick. But those are things that you just have to be honest with yourself in saying, "This is not the time."

And it goes back to what you were saying before with you being older, and I'm looking like no, I'm not seeing any of it." It's definitely- But anyway, yeah. We're gonna- We're gonna take notes later on, like, what are you doing?

What do I need to do? Anyway, this goes back to the wellness and my poster behind me. Mm-hmm. That when you are taking care of yourself, you can live longer and well longer. And it's amazing because as a society, we live longer, a lot longer than we used to.

Right.

We used to live until 40 if we were lucky.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

And we did a tour of Annapolis a couple years ago, And it was interesting the way that people lived back then and how many deaths were before 40, and it was very eye-opening. And thinking about how many people don't achieve success until they're in their 50s and 60s, and why is that?

And maybe now is the time when you're focusing more on your wellness, knowing that the space and everything will open up for you later to have that business, have whatever career that you want. But now you can focus on your children, like you were saying, going to the games. You can focus on getting enough sleep.

You can focus on your nutrition. You can focus on movement. What skills do you need to gain for your goal that you have, for that purpose that you feel like you're being called to? Mm-hmm. And right now you're being called to prepare for that thing. Mm-hmm. That's what really came up for me when you were talking.

I agree with that, and that resonates deeply. I think it's spot on. Like, in a season, the kids are gone and they're grown, and I'm not really in hustle mode, right? Besides life, I'm like you said, have my nice little whoop on, and I'm getting my walk in, and I'm drinking my water.

And I'm making sure I'm eating right, and just, living life on my terms. And so I think all divine inspirations are coming easier because it's less noise. It's less things that are competing with it. And I can see that. I seen a post and it said, most millionaires, make their first million in, 57, and most CEOs are, average 58 or 59, something like that.

And so I was like, okay.

It's nice to know for so many of the people who are listening right now, you have time.

Oh, yeah.

And you can feel like what you're doing right now does not relate to where you're going. But let's talk about you, for example. If we're looking at your resume,

did it feel like it did not connect? But now looking back you see how it does.

Oh, yeah. The first part of my life is by mistake. But no, you're absolutely right.

Most of my founders, as women, they're either been in corporate and they're afraid to pivot into entrepreneurship 'cause they don't wanna start over, or they've been in the home and as homemakers they don't see their value, and so they're like, "I really wasn't, you know, what do I have to offer," kind of thing.

And so it's getting them out of imposter syndrome. It's getting them to understand that everything that they've done is human capital, and it is now tools in their toolbox, and it has prepared them for this moment. And so where you think you're not prepared, you have so much wisdom and so much experience to bring into the space, and so much value add to, what you have to offer, and not to take that for granted.

Me personally, I'm like a unicorn, but, I don't say that to toot my own horn. 'Cause I went in the military. I was running from an abusive husband. I went into the military with young children, and I did 10 years in the military. And while I was in the military, I got my bachelor's and my associate's.

When I got out the military, I got two master's and two grad certs. And so I went from the military and I went to work at Deloitte, which is the best company in the world to work for, especially coming out of the military. And they gave me a laptop and they gave me a cellphone and they gave me a laptop lock.

I didn't have an office. I could hotel, didn't have to go in the office at all. And, from there I went to work for CACI, and then I went to the government and bought back my military time. And so I went into upper management in the government, and I was a program manager.

And then I left the government after I bought back my military time. And I went to work back to being a government contractor, but I was working for myself. And so, it was at that moment that I lost my brother to gun violence, and I stopped and said, "I don't think I like who I am, and I need to change that."

Started a nonprofit and started serving the community as I had this contracting business. And I realized in teaching and mentoring in the community, like, I think I like this. And so I put myself in some coaching programs and decided, okay, I'm gonna coach. I like coaching. And so I think now I'm a much more evolved person, thank God.

I was very type A, very logical, very masculine, very aggressive, very ambition-oriented, because I had very humble beginnings. And I was coming out of survival mode, stuck in hustle mode, but I was determined to check all the blocks, and so I had the house, I had the car, the kids were doing all the things, and life looked like success on paper.

But when I looked at myself, I wasn't happy and it wasn't successful, and I decided I need to change that. And so, I think people more than anything need to be afraid not to walk away and not to be afraid to start over. And more than anything, don't be afraid to give yourself permission, to change because you can still grow.

Feel like you started over from zero each time though?

Not from zero, no. We feel like that, right? Like, we're going to start out with an empty piece of paper. No. You are bringing experience, and so much of that comes over, especially for those who are stay-at-home moms. You have so many executive skills- All the time ... yes. I say that

I'm like, first of all, that's project management 101.

You are running a house, a budget, schedules, everybody's going different ways, competing priorities and you do it like it's nothing, and the house stays clean, the laundry stays done, the kids are where they're supposed to be.

And you can do it fast.

Exactly.

You don't even need to work full-time

So let's not discount that. Let's talk about it. But, inventory control, listen. But yeah, I don't think like the normal person, I think. As I've talked to so many people, 'cause I've done quite a few podcasts, I realize I have a logical thinking, which is very masculine, which comes from survival, comes from the project management and working in a man's world.

But then now that I've allowed myself the freedom to pivot and to explore, right, what it is that makes my heart warm and, and everything, it allows me to... And I love hanging out with my grandkids. They keep me curious, right? These are my best friends. But it has allowed me to connect and to be balanced, and so I have my female intuitive creative side, but I also have my very masculine, logical, analytical side.

And then I definitely have the God part of me that balances me out. And I, I think in talking to so many people, as a introvert, I realized that everybody does not have that balance. And so it's one more thing to just stand back and be grateful for. Because I didn't really was- realize it was s- such a, a thing, or not a thing.

Another layer of wellness. That's like- Yeah ... an up level of it, right? And we can have this wellness podcast and it can go for decades-

Yeah ...

because it's not a tiny umbrella. It's like a colosseum. It can cover so much. And the eight dimensions of wellness is just a concept.

Yeah, yeah.

One thing that can work. Well, it's eight, but, like- There's so many other parts to it, and you just totally hit on it. And when we're not aligned with ourselves-

Mm-hmm ...

things are so much harder. And what I've found is when I'm more in the feminine mindset and energy, which I grew up in very masculine, I'm more energized.

Mm-hmm.

And I feel like it's not just that, but it's being true to myself, which is part of being in that energy as a female, that I'm naturally more energized. I'm more creative. Things just flow better. It's not me pushing that boulder up the hill

It makes the biggest difference.

I think I am my best creative self when I'm lounging and I'm relaxing and I'm soft and everything is smooth and it's flowing and I'm not fearing... I am the problem solver for everybody, and that's the reason I unplug, 'cause I don't wanna solve everybody's problems all the time. But I've gotten to the age and the place where I can say that. And so it's like, you know what? That boundary is gonna be I'm gonna turn my phone off. And I might look at it and see you calling, I'm not gonna answer 'cause I told you I was turning it off.

I'm gonna wait for you to text me and see if it's important. But it's because I know I am my best self and I need that time not just to regroup, but also to heal. Because when you're going through life and life is like bumper cars just banging you around like a ping pong ball, it's like, wait a minute, let me take myself out of that.

Let me breathe. Let me detox, right? I call it detoxing from people because everybody dumps on you. And it's like, no, no, no, no, this is not a trash can, and so let me detox from you. Let me regain my own thoughts and my own zen and my own peace. Okay, I can go back and face the world again. But I think it's so needed, so I agree with you 100%.

And I think it's more than that, and this is something that you call your clients out on. Are you dumping on yourself?

Yeah.

So it's getting away from the noise of everything else- Mm-hmm ... and then when you're by yourself, ooh, what's going on here? What do I need to clean up here within myself?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So maybe it's not just dumping out the tr- the d- the trash, but then cleaning that trash can.

So tell us about your ideal client. Let's start there. Your ideal client, and then where to find you.

My ideal client are female founders, typically 40 plus, who are doing all the things but not quite getting them right.

And so I help them get clear in their business, create a plan and a strategy, and then hold them accountable to execute until they get it done. And so that tells you that if they're young, they're not my client. Why? Because older clients, women founders, they understand that time is not on their side, and they have to get to it.

And so younger people are just pretty indecisive, and they're looking for more information. Now my personality is, "Okay, let's get to work." Why? I love to see something go from idea to completion. And so even though I'm working with them, it also feeds me, because I love to see something come to fruition.

It tells you they're productive, right? They're doing stuff. They're just not doing the right stuff, which is where I come in. And so there's a yin and yang. It's a done-with-them service. And so they consult with me, and I coach them. And sometimes it is a mindset around personal development and just habits and how they see themselves and how they're showing up, because you can never go further than you see yourself.

And it's like community.

Does it matter how long they've had their business?

I've had clients that have had businesses for different timelines. I've had clients who were just starting, clients who were in their business, not consistent, right? They were treating it as a hobby and decided they want to take it serious, and they didn't have the operational pieces and the structure, and so we fleshed all that out.

Then I've had clients who've had a successful business, had a regular, revenue, but then they wanted to pivot and do something different, and they wanted to see how that would play into their current business. And so I helped them flesh that out as well and look at what that would look like from a trajectory perspective.

That sounds fun, and that definitely sounds very creative and feminine energy for you. Yeah. So where can they find you if they're like, "Yes, she con- I feel myself connecting with her. I want to find out more"?

My website is chanda-co.com, and my socials are chanda__co.

So Instagram, TikTok, and maybe Facebook.

So all the social media.

All the social media.

Okay, perfect. Thank you. I really enjoyed this conversation.

Likewise.

And for me, the things that stood out are really making sure that I have done the work of really fleshing things out, fleshing out my timing, and that's where you come in.

And I love that you also work with people who want to have a pivot within their business and want to see if that'll work. So you're the person that, "Let's slow down and really take the time to really think everything through so that we can speed up in the right direction."

Absolutely. So

we're not constantly slowing down, speed up here.

Slow down, speed up and go here. Change direction. And also making sure that we're authentic- Mm-hmm ... and that we're taking the time to unplug and deeply care for ourselves, knowing that we want to live a long, full life. And the business is part of it, but it's not everything.

No.

Your life should not be wrapped around your business. It should be vice versa. Your business should just fit right into your life. It shouldn't be you trying to move everything around like a Rubik's Cube.

And we're told to start a business because then it'll take less time and we'll gain all this success, but then when we get in there, we think, "Oh, we'll just put more time and more money into it," and then we realize we're not doing the things we wanted to do.

This is the reasons why we started the business. So I love that you are taking the time from the beginning of, "Let's set up all the boundaries-"

Right ... so

that you're not losing yourself. That's huge.

Absolutely.

Yeah. '

Cause if you do that, what's the point? I don't know.

Yeah. And that is something that we ask as we get older, I wanna waste my energy on this?"

Yeah. Perfect. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for this conversation and for being on.

Thank you for having me. It's been absolutely amazing, for sure.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you found the answers that you needed and you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for.

As part of the legal language, I am a certified life coach with a bachelor's in applied health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice. Take it as such. See you in the next episode.