Episode 126: Nightly Check-In to Your Inner World

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Introduction to Wellness In Every Season

Autumn Carter's video recording: This is episode 1 26.

Welcome to Wellness In Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all of its forms. I'm your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach, turn wellness coach, as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

My goal is to help you thrive, both as an individual and as a parent.

I am so glad you're here.

Setting the Mood for Relaxation

Autumn Carter's video recording: I'm gonna try and talk a little slower and a little quieter because this episode, you're meant to be in your jammies. If you're not there yet you can pause this and listen to it later, or listen to it one time through and see what you think. Turn off your lights if they're on.

The goal of this is for you to listen to every night [00:01:00] until this becomes a routine for you to be able to do on your own.

Exploring Parts Work and Inner Voices

Autumn Carter's video recording: I am in a somatics class. And I am learning about parts work with Amber Chapman, I'm sure I've name dropped her several times by now.

She's doing this class called The Archetypes Within, and it's talking about the different parts of ourself. And if you need this reference, inside out has the different parts of ourselves, the anger. I think that's my favorite character. 'cause I like how the flames come out. And then there's joy, there's sadness, disgust.

I think I have the core ones, and then it grows from there. That is the idea around to have your nightly check-in of what's going on within my body. Are there parts that are screaming? The fact that you're here, that means that you've already done [00:02:00] something kind to yourself.

The space is for gently tuning in to listen to your inner world so deep inside you. Without fixing, without rushing and without judgment. You're invited to bring your full presence with nothing to prove, only to explore. So stay in the curiosity mindset.

 All of us, this can sound crazy, this took a long time for me to really grasp and understand because I'd say there's only one of me, I don't have extra personalities. So bear with me if you've never heard this before, but inside each of us lives, not just one voice, but many. Think back to the cartoons.

I'm really aging myself here, where they have the angel and the devil. I don't know which side of the shoulder it was on, but it's that idea. The voices inside us, the thoughts that come up. Those are your [00:03:00] parts. Different aspects of you that you carry that carry different thoughts, feelings, needs, and roles.

Maybe one part feels anxious, another is tired. Another is planning tomorrow already. If you do that, I'm right there with you. Parts work is a practice of listening to these inner voices with openness, like sitting around a campfire with old friends. You're not here to change them. You're simply offering your attention because attention is a form of love, and this attention will help give you a deeper insight into yourself.

And it might clue you into things that you're ignoring.

Guided Breathing Exercise

Autumn Carter's video recording: Let's focus on some breathing and relaxing, and then let's do a body scan after that. I learned this from another coach of mine. It is called seasonal breathing .  

 I think of it like a square. So you're gonna do count of four in, and [00:04:00] then hold for four, then you're gonna breathe out for four, then hold for four, and then breathe in again. You ready?

Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe out. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe out, 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe out. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold four. 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, [00:05:00] 4. Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4. Breathe out, 1, 2, 3, 4, and start breathing normal. Allow yourself to relax into that. There is, the military uses this to help relax for falling asleep as well.

Full Body Relaxation and Scan

Autumn Carter's video recording: Let's do a body scan and we're gonna be doing it twice. This is to relax the body and then we'll do it again after working through our parts. Start at the toes,

pay attention to 'em, wiggle 'em if you need to. Let's go to the arches of your feet. If any spot needs a little more attention, just breathe through it as I keep going. The tops of your feet, your heels, your ankles. I'm gonna give more time for the calves because there's a lot there, a lot of different muscles all the way up to the back of your [00:06:00] knees.

And then let's go to the top of your knees. Think about all the areas within knees. There's quite a bit going on in there. And then we're gonna go through your hamstrings. Just think of that stroking motion, the relaxing stroking motion, and then let's go through your outer thighs. Go to the top of your thighs, your quads area.

And then let's go to inner thighs. How about your hips? I hold a lot there, especially after having children. Any areas with your thigh? Your hips. How about your pelvic floor? There's a lot there, especially as women. We've done a lot there, especially if we've had children. Okay. Up through [00:07:00] that area. There's a lot there, whether you're male or female, there's a lot going on in this area.

Lots of sex organs in this area. So scanning up through there, and we're gonna take it through our stomach area and then through the love handle area. It's also another area where I hold a lot, and then through your back, so wrapping around your spine. And then let's go ahead and start to take that up in the back and let's go to the bottom of your neck.

Any areas that need to relax through there. Okay? And let's go over that area to your shoulders. Now I know I'm doing this really weird, and then go through to your chest. If [00:08:00] you've had a lot of trauma, there can be a lot held here. And then let's go down through your ribs, back to your stomach and because so much can be held here, we're gonna go back up.

So we're going up through your heart area, and then let's go over the shoulders and then let's go through the arms. And you can choose to do one arm at a time, or both arms together.

Meet me at an elbow, or both elbows, anything through there, and then through your wrists. Lots of people have lots of things going on in the wrist area at this point. All the texting and the driving and the computers and crocheting is getting popular again . And then is there anything going on in your [00:09:00] fingers?

Back up your arms. Meet me at your neck. Is there anything going on through here? Let's do the front of the neck, the throat, and then let's go around to the back and then let's go through the back of your head.

All the way through to your top of your head. This is my favorite area to have acupuncture done at the top of my head, the higher thinking area. Let's go to your forehead, relax those muscles, and let's go to temples. And then let's go to your eyes.

If they are open, try and close them if you feel safe to. Then move down your cheeks, relax your jaw, [00:10:00] relax your nose, your nostrils, and relax your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. Okay?

Now parts work.

I want you to breathe while I'm doing this, so I'm on purpose pausing for this. Close your eyes if they're not closed, or let your gaze soften.

Breathe in slowly and exhale gently. Right now when I do my practice, I have one hand on my chest, over my heart, and one hand on my stomach. That's why I like to do this.

And because I am a side sleeper, I'm normally on my back. So this could be helpful to start out in a com, a position that's not [00:11:00] sleep comfortable, if that makes sense. Now, ask yourself, who's speaking the loudest inside me?

It might be a part that's worried, angry, or racing with thoughts. Let it speak. Let it be here without needing to explain itself. You don't have to fix it. Just listen.

Creating Your Safe Space

Autumn Carter's video recording: Actually, let's back up.

If this isn't working for you, there is a reason why. Let's set up your safe space. For me, it depends on what I need to have a meeting about, what my space looks like. I have one space that is actually a place I used to work. They had [00:12:00] this conference room that was all glass, so in mine, one wall is not glass and you can hear through the glass.

So the parts of me that are a lot more timid. I have another place that is meeting around a campfire with a forest on one side so that the parts that need to hide and are more nervous and I haven't listened to for a really long time can hide out there. I have another place that is more like a coliseum, where everyone can hear you.

It doesn't get bloody, it's still calm. I have another place that's it's still Greece, but it's set up on a hill. I cannot think of the word of it, but come up with your safe space and make sure that there is space for those that need to be more in the shadows.[00:13:00]

And let's try this again if you're struggling.

Set that up, visualize it as clearly as you can. Who is speaking the loudest right now?

Make sure they're fully heard.

You can use the coaching tool that I love, which is what else? Ask again. What else? And one more time. What else? It's the magic of three.

Then who else needs to be heard? Sometimes it can be a few and they might need to have the talking stick and talk it, out, back and forth. Remember, you don't need to fix, just [00:14:00] listen and then ask again, is there another part that's also waiting to be seen?

And offer the same courtesy. Then again, is there a softer part beneath these?

Maybe it's a tender one, a hopeful one, a discouraged one. Listen, gently breathe with it. Are, there even quieter parts? Are there parts that you needed to listen to today? You can take this as far back as, are there parts that I haven't been listening to? And then when you get more used to this, it'll be are there parts that need to speak about what happened today?

Nightly Ritual for Inner Peace

Autumn Carter's video recording: This is your nightly ritual to let them all have a chance to [00:15:00] speak. This can lead to really great insights. Maybe it's, I have a better. Understanding of what happened here or I'm not on the right path and those parts are trying to tell me these things, but I am just forcing my way through. Or there's an easier way around this hurdle.

Are there any other parts that need to speak, that need to come out?

 We're gonna do our body scan again. We're gonna start at our head. And the point of this is these voices live in different parts of our body, and this is scientifically proven. We store our emotions that goes with the parts of us. I stored mine for the longest time in my gallbladder. It was so great when that gave out and I could finally have it evicted.

But the point is to be able to do this before you need [00:16:00] to have that body part replaced or it wears out. So let's begin at the crown of your head. Notice any tension, warmth, or sensation. Now let's go to the forehead and all the way down your face. So melting into your temples, your cheeks, your nose. Under your nose, upper lip area, and then through your jaw.

When I think of the jaw, I think of the back of the cheek, around your ear where it connects your tongue, relax that and your mouth, and then through to your chin, your neck, any areas of your neck. We're just doing your whole head together and then your neck. For me, it's the parts of me where I needed to speak up about something and I did not, I don't know.

Then through to your [00:17:00] collarbone, are there any parts in here and then through the back of the neck where it connects to your shoulders. We can hold a lot of tension through this area. A lot of feelings here where we feel like we have the weight of the world, the weight of all of our responsibilities, all the things that we think we need to do.

All the shoulds can live right here on our shoulders. How about your upper arms? What about in your armpit area? Do you have anything in there?

And then through your biceps triceps, your forearms . Your wrists, your fingers. Let's meet up at our chest

and then down through to [00:18:00] your ribs, your belly button. And let's go back to the shoulders and in the back where the delts are and all those other back muscles . All the way down. Think of this corset area . Let's meet up at our hips. Keep doing that scan. Anything calling for attention? If so, what do you need? Do you need to adjust? Are you ready to start rolling over to your comfortable position? Do you need to just set your hand there for a minute and breathe into it? Going hips, going to our sex organs. Our bum, we spend a lot of time sitting on it. Pay attention there. Let's go to the upper legs, the front and back of them, your knee area.

How about your [00:19:00] lower legs, front and back, your ankles? Maybe do a little wiggle of your ankles. Get them to crack if you need. Your toes.

 Remember you were just observing what was going on, not judging. And if any of those spots need a little extra love, let your breath touch those places right now.

 We're gonna go through a part that will really help set you on the right path towards the sweetest dreams. Let's take a moment to acknowledge something that went well today.

It doesn't have to be big. Just play. Cut out all the bad and play only the good parts. Let that run through your head like a movie. Maybe you drank water when you needed it. Maybe you said something kind, maybe you kept going.[00:20:00] 

What's something that felt like a little success? A small yes to life.

Hold that moment, those moments in your video, and let it glow like a candle. Let yourself feel proud. Let yourself feel that it counts because it does. The point in doing this is you are training your mind to look for the things that you did, so that it is getting that little bit of a reward and it will want to do more of those good things.

Same thing as raising children, training a dog.

Now if it feels right, let's slow everything down. Make sure you're all the way in [00:21:00] your comfortable position. I will make sure that I don't have my normal end music to this. So don't worry here, get comfy. Put your phone off to the side if you have not already. It should not autoplay the next episode, unless you're watching on YouTube.

Turn that off really quick. We'll just end here and you can fall asleep. So find your breathing rhythm that feels comforting. Inhale softly. Exhale slowly.

Affirmations and Final Meditation

Autumn Carter's video recording: I'm gonna add some affirmations with you, and then I'll leave you with a meditation and just let it run its course.

And I'll just have music slightly playing in the background. At the end of this, you might say to yourself as an affirmation, I did enough today. I am safe to rest now. All parts of me are welcome to relax. And I do [00:22:00] wanna add the caveat that you might have interesting dreams as the parts of you learn to speak to you, and that can come up in dreams.

It's very interesting. Let your body grow heavier. Let your thoughts float like clouds not needing answers. You have done enough today. Tomorrow is a new day. And the things that. Are trying to come to your mind that you need to do, push them away. Those will come to you tomorrow. You don't need them. Right now.

The time is for sleep, rest, renewal, rejuvenation, and recovery.

If a part returns, greet it kindly and then return to your breath.

Thank you for spending this moment with [00:23:00] yourself and with me tonight. May you rest deeply and may tomorrow meet you gently. I am here again whenever you're ready to return, and I hope to see you soon.[00:24:00] [00:25:00] [00:26:00] [00:27:00] [00:28:00] [00:29:00] [00:30:00] [00:31:00] [00:32:00] [00:33:00] [00:34:00] [00:35:00] [00:36:00] [00:37:00]