Healing Through Mindset

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This is episode 213 and today we are going to talk about mindset but even more we're gonna talk about finding healing when you're stuck.

Welcome to Wellness. In every season, we talk all things wellness, to help you align yourself, align with your goals, find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself if you are listening for the first time. Welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here, and let's get started in the rest of the podcast.

I know so many people who are feeling stuck right now, so, and I'm feeling stuck more in my physical healing journey from a car accident.

This is the perfect time of year to talk about it. I know this is coming out later, but we are recording right now in February. So dark. The sun's starting to be a little bit lighter for a little bit more of the [00:01:00] day, but it's still a lot of cold, a lot of not very sunny days because it's snowing or it's raining or whatever.

And we forget in the society that we live in to slow down. Because we think we can turn on a light, so everything's good.

 I have Stacy Goldstein with me, and let me read a little bit about her bio. She and I have worked together in different capacities.

She has been an occupational therapist. And doing that has given her the opportunity to help people physically, emotionally, and mentally face difficult challenges and overcome them. And she says, A few years ago, I felt drawn to life coaching and the power of the subconscious mind and healing ourselves.

So excited to talk about this, and it transformed her life and motherhood. And this knowledge combined with her years of clinical experience has spurred her transition into coaching. [00:02:00] And her passion is to support other moms who may be struggling, overwhelmed, and lost. So if you are not a mom, listen, you're still a female.

Listen, if you're a male, you know people who are moms. So this still will resonate with you, and no matter what, you're gonna find something because you're human and we're all living the human experience. So please continue listening and also share it with people as things resonate with you. So without further ado, Stacy, welcome.

I'm so excited to dive into this discussion as soon as I read and. Realize what we were gonna talk about. I got really excited because this is something that's been coming up as I've been coaching people, as I've been just living my life and bumping into people and having conversations.

This is, I feel like, I don't know if you believe in this, but different people who are very into astrological things. Are saying that that's very much [00:03:00] what's happening because of the planetary alignment. And as you can tell, I'm bumbling along with this 'cause it's not something I really follow. But it's interesting to see how other people are realizing this and they're trying to put a why behind it.

Absolutely. And thank you so much for having me here. I'm super excited to be here with you today because it has been a while that you and I have worked together in different capacities and it is so awesome to actually sit down and have a conversation with you. So this is actually a topic I am super excited about.

I have a background in science and I'm very healthcare driven, so I am not much on the astrological things. I can tell you I'm a Sagittarius. That's about it. I don't know much else.

But I do know it's something that we all struggle with. Being stuck. Being stuck in that same spot.

Being stuck because we need to heal from something because we just can't seem to move on from this, whatever it is that we're dealing with. As from a coaching perspective, I actually kind of [00:04:00] look at it from like the neuroscience standpoint, which I find fascinating. And I also do weave in a little bit of bible and scripture too.

So if anybody out there, you know, if that's not really your thing, just know that that is also what I weave into things. However I believe it's a design that was ingrained in us from the beginning. So no matter what you believe in, whether you believe in God or you know, one power, whatever you wanna call it, we actually are designed to be able to heal ourselves.

That's how we're wired. And I find that just amazing. And yet we stumble along and all of the. The different things that the world is telling us that we have to deal with. And, oh, you got hurt, okay, just suck it up, move on. You know, or you know, here's something else you have to take care of and you have to do this, and you have to do that.

And it, it gets a little mind boggling after a while and we kind of get [00:05:00] stuck in this pattern of not. Really, you know, it sometimes we know we need to do something, but we are just so overwhelmed that we just can't move. And it's a rough place to be. I think a marketing right? Isn't that the point? Is there going to tell us you have this problem, it's probably one that you don't know of, but now suddenly you're like, oh, well it must be a problem and then we're gonna solve it for you.

That kind of takes us away from remembering our ourselves, like you were talking about, but that just kept coming up for me as that's marketing, right? That, and society and things like that, that take us away from remembering that we really know if we sit down with ourselves. There is definitely a, you're absolutely right because we, we all have that deeper knowing.

But we like to ignore it. Yes.

And I know for me part of my journey getting to this point [00:06:00] was that I had my kids really close together. I had them a little bit later than most people. And after my second son was born, he was kind of complicated. He, he was premature. He was in the NICU for two weeks, and then we finally brought him home.

And I went back to work and a week later they told me I had cancer. And it was a huge thing because up to this point I'm like, well, I've been doing all the right things, you know, I've been the good girl. I followed all the rules, I did all the things, you know, I've been as healthy as I possibly could, and what the heck?

It really started to make it clear to me that I wasn't living. I was living life according to what everybody else told me, and it was keeping me stuck in a pattern where I was ignoring myself. I was starting to ignore my own mental needs. I was starting to let go of my faith. I was starting to let go of a lot of [00:07:00] things because I was doing everything else, and then I was just sitting there and I, it was having that diagnosis on top of it was.

Eyeopening. So when you have a kid who's two and one who's two months at the same time, it's yeah. So I like to say that God likes to smack me upside the head when I'm not paying attention because I'm very stubborn and I won't go along my way. And so he got my attention and and that led me on a deeper journey to find healing.

To find peace within myself.

I stumbled across a lot of things, which I was a little skeptical of at first for different techniques like EFT, tapping and hypnosis and NLP and breath work and all these things. And I really had had it in the back of my head that they were very like woo woo [00:08:00] kind of techniques.

So I was like, eh, okay. Whatever. But it was all part of the life coaching program that I was in. But amazingly, going through that program helped me to not only learn these techniques, but to heal myself and see the power in them to help me to heal from things that were even 20 years prior that were actually holding me back.

Not all my issues were there, but I was stuck there. And that was also part of what was holding me from. Moving forward to being the, the best mom that I could be, the mom that I wanted to be for my kids because it was breaking my heart that I was just, I was trying to do all the things and I was exhausted, and I couldn't even spend time with them, without even thinking about, oh my God, I have to do the dishes.

I have to go do some laundry. Oh, I gotta clean the house. I gotta do like, you are a mom. You know what I'm talking about. And these different techniques are amazing because it helps me to heal some [00:09:00] of the emotions and baggage that I was carrying. And it helped me to reframe a lot of the limiting thoughts I had going through my head.

I, like I said, I am. I'm Christian. So so that's a big part of who I am. But I did lose touch with things after a while and I was raised in a different background that still within Christianity, but it was very much, if you don't do this, you're going to hell. Or if you do this, you know, it was very like cut and dry and if you did the wrong things, you were made to feel guilty.

I don't wanna talk bad about faith, but faith is human run here on this planet. So it comes with flaws and letting go. A lot of those things that I was raised to believe about myself and about how I had to be as a person. They were [00:10:00] extremely difficult, excuse me, for me to give up.

So learning these different techniques was amazing and I couldn't believe I could feel that good. And, oh, hey, by the way, there's a lot of science to back all those things up. So that was pretty cool as well. So for me, I have, I did not, and I, knock on wood, we'll never have cancer. How do I do all the things right?

But more than anything, it is lifestyle and like, not for everybody, but a lot of it's lifestyle. I am going to enjoy editing myself. But the part where I have a, I'm still a Christian.

The way that I grew up is still Christian based, but it. Different brand of Christianity than what I grew up with as well, [00:11:00] for similar reasons. And I think that goes back to what feels right and like a, I truly believe this, this truly aligns with where I wanna be. And this, it's, it's hard to take an emotion like.

But what just lights you up and is the right path. And you can take that for your spiritual wellness and you can take that in all the other different areas of your wellness. And I can see how you did that and it's very interesting for me. I very much love science too, so it can be hard to go with through faith and then find the science part afterwards for different things.

And it's interesting as I have been diving into other things because of being a coach and then because of having now chronic pain [00:12:00] and realizing what works for me, what doesn't, and then find, okay, it works for me, and then find the science for it. It's interesting working through it backwards than the way I normally do things.

And it sounds like you've taken that and you applied it in your own life, and then now you do that for those you coach.

So here's the question with this, and I wanna get it a little bit deeper for Faith who, because we don't normally talk about faith a lot on this podcast, because of the way that I grew up, it felt like if you talked about faith, you then were trying to sell something .

How did your journey work using your faith and your beliefs, and how did that go into your wellness and your recovery from cancer? And it sounds like it was deeper than just cancer that you were healing. It sounds like there was, you talked about all the shoulds that you should have been doing as a mother [00:13:00] for me, it's reflecting on a lot of TV shows growing up.

How did the mom look? And this was even marketing back in like the fifties. I loved watching the black and white. But notice how she was dressed and she was still vacuuming and doing all of the things. So we were taught that this is how women needed to be.

And then we were also encouraged to go to school and get a degree and then enter the workforce. But we still needed to maintain this house. And maintain happy children that are thriving and we know them individually really well, and the children feel like we're a stay at home mom while we're also working.

So how do you put, how did you put all of this in there and also add your faith in with it? And because that's exactly what I struggled with. You know, we, we've been told. We as mothers in a kind of an interesting phase right now. I, I think because we are, we're stuck between the leave it to beaver, you know, making the, you know, making the meals and the apron on and all that stuff and cleaning the house.

And, [00:14:00] but we're also expected you're right to go get the degree and get the job and pull in that extra income, but also take care of the house, take care of the kids, take care of the, you know, everything else. And it gets to be pretty overwhelming. And I struggled with that most certainly, and that was where a lot of my stress came from because I started to feel like the world was telling me, EV I had to do everything.

And it was definitely hard and it took me a long time to be able to say that word out loud because I felt guilty for saying it. I love my children to death. I really do. But it was just so hard. And then when you're searching for answers and you're looking for a way to help yourself to make it better, and I stumbled across all these techniques, I was like, Hmm.

Like nobody ever really came out and said, these are [00:15:00] bad. But like you always had like this little feeling in the back of your head, like you're being a little naughty when you're looking into things like hypnosis, you know? And I don't even know where exactly it came from. So I had to look a little bit deeper and I really had to do some thinking about how can faith play into this?

How would faith be supported here? And, you know, to put it most basically, you know, God designed us this way and science is just explaining God's design. So, and science is not even a bad thing. I mean, we go to the doctor, we get antibiotics when we need 'em. You know, we get x-rays. You know, we know science.

We know that there's eight planets. Poor little Pluto got demoted. But you know, like we have science that has told us all these things and has told [00:16:00] us that if the earth wasn't on that certain tilt, if it wasn't this far away, perfectly away from the sun, that we would all fry or freeze.

You know, like everything has this perfect design to it. So why wouldn't these different techniques make sense? It's just like coming across anything else in the world from the discovery of the wheel to, you know, sonar to whatever. It's just looking at God's design and finding these details and finally figuring out that we can help ourselves

i'm horrible at quoting scripture verse for verse, but it's Romans chapter 12, verse two says that we can renew our own minds. And that was one verse that kind of stuck out to me, and now I kind of use it to drive my coaching too, because. We things [00:17:00] like meditation. Jesus went off to meditate on his own.

He frequently left his apostles. Even if you don't know anything about the Bible, any of the listeners that may not be familiar with it, Jesus would leave his apostles tell them to go away, and he would go off by himself and go pray and meditate on the word. So we have that example too, that he did these different things and.

Those basic examples. Were the things that kind of said to me. Okay.

Yeah, I, I think that this all makes sense because the neuroscience tells us that all these limiting beliefs and these limiting patterns, they're all part of our subconscious and we actually operate about 95% of what we do.

Is running off of this autopilot program in the back of our head, in our subconscious. So if we can fix the subconscious program running in the background, we can [00:18:00] start to make the conscious part of things that much better. That was kind of how I pulled faith into it, and it helped to explain things to me and I felt much more comfortable with it.

I don't believe that it's woo woo. I've got the science to back it up. EFT has over a hundred studies to show how effective it is. There's so much stuff out there. It's hard not to see that the science is there and that this is supported.

So several things came up when you were talking that I was thinking about, and this is in my own life.

I always like to try things out first, and then I'll try it with somebody else. I like to be the Guinea pig, but thinking about wellness and using my ven diagram, Graham behind me, hopefully you guys can still hear me with the microphone, but thinking of the spiritual, thinking of it like a pie.

There's so many times that we think, okay, I am religious and whatever. But it [00:19:00] doesn't. And that's where meditation, EFT, breath work acupuncture, all these other things that can be woo woo, can really be added in, spending time in nature because I, I found it a couple days ago on social media. I go on long enough to repost something and then I'm off. I try to be very mindful of how much I'm on social media, but I found this one that is really good, and it was talking about this is what resting looks like and it's not being on your phone, just relaxing on the couch.

And it made me think about that for myself because of my physical health lately, I've been reading more. I'm like, that's resting. But is it, and I feel so much better when I take the time to meditate or when I take the time to focus on breath work or spend time in nature for a little bit and just totally unplug.

[00:20:00] And we live in that society where we're go, go, go, go, go. And even when we're resting physically our body, we're watching a show or doing something else. So stuff is still going on up here. We're not letting things just settle. We think that, well we are because we're trying to sleep and we expect to fall asleep in five minutes, but we can't because we haven't allowed our brain to slow down at all during any other point of the day.

And you know, and it's, it's kind of interesting because it was one of those things, like, I felt like I had prayed all the prayers, I'd done all the things I'd asked for, all.

Like, I just, I was at my wits end. And so, yes, while faith is huge, there was also peace that I had to do for myself. You know, there, there's a point where you can ask for things like even for manifestation. You, yes, you have to visualize it and you have to, you know, increase your vibration and all the other [00:21:00] things that go along with it.

But you have to do something too. You can't just visualize it, sit around and wait for that, you know, a hundred dollars to fall into your lap. You just can't manifest a hundred dollars bill out of thin air. You have to do something, you know, or if you want your relationship to be better, you can't just manifest a better relationship.

Whereas also for your own self, like you, you have to take some responsibility for yourself to kind of move forward and, you know, kind of help the process along. It's a co-creation. It's definitely not something that's a one-sided deal. You know, so, you know, God will give you everything you need, but sometimes that's also motivation and the intelligence to find the answers and to run with them.

So it definitely is not all of the pie for sure. Definitely supportive, but there's always many, many facets. Facets and many pieces of things that go all together. And I also [00:22:00] love when you talked about meditation and you talked about Jesus, how he went off to meditate. And the little bits that I know about other religions, they have that as well.

Gandhi also went off to meditate. I assume Buddha did and all the others. Mm-hmm. Whoever you prescribed to, or even if you believe in just higher power or maybe no power, there's still a lot to be said about meditating and if you have somebody who is your role model, if there, and there's somebody who really goes around doing really great things, chances are pretty high.

They meditate. Mm-hmm. There's so many different types of meditation which is great, especially for me with A DHD. I like guided meditation the best. Otherwise, I'm like, I don't think I've meditated at all, but I really have a great to-do list now. Thanks.

Tell us more about working with [00:23:00] people who are stuck in the season and how you are different from anybody else because. We could easily group you into, here's all the life coaches. They all do the same thing. No. And explain why it's no. So I think the, the biggest factor for me is that I'm here to tell you that it's a safe zone if you do have a religious background.

Then it's okay. These techniques are okay. You're, you're not sinning by doing any of these things because you're trying to make yourself better. And when we make ourselves better, we're better for our kids. And not only that, what also makes me a little different is that I've lived it. I have been at the bottom.

I was listening to songs thinking that I was going to die. I was gonna leave kids [00:24:00] behind and I knew I had to get out of that and I've, I've been pretty darn close to the bottom, so I know that whatever someone would bring to me, I know that that is something we can work through anything together.

And I know that these are things that work, and I know they work, and they're okay for anybody, Christian, Protestant, Muslim, otherwise it doesn't matter. These techniques were put into this world for a reason and. My mission is to take that mom who is just drowning in everything that she's been taught to do and she's been told by the world that she [00:25:00] has to do and tell her it's okay.

You don't have to live like that. You don't have to just put up with it. Motherhood can be joyful. Most days, we have our moments, we can live it how we want to. It's that deep inner calling that we were talking about earlier. We know deep down that when this is not how it's supposed to be and we ignore it, and I'm gonna tell you that you shouldn't ignore it because you're going to get to the point where your kids are 18 and they're outta college and you're gonna be like, oh my God, what happened to my time with them?

And I don't want you to get to that point. That's, it can change and it can change quickly. It's not something that will take years and years. We're always changing and growing. Yes. But we can make great deep [00:26:00] lasting change and we can do it fast and we can start to enjoy more of the moments that matter now.

And I just, I know what it feels like to be at the bottom, and I don't think anybody needs to be there. Great. And for anybody who's questioning whether this is for me or has said, I don't think you can help me, because I've tried to do this for years and it hasn't worked.

think about sports and. Think about anybody who's done a sport, or if you've watched a sport, you've at least been a sports bar, I'm sure, and there's bajillion tv, so I'm sure you've seen something. But think about how much dedication they've put into it. But more than that, they've had a coach.

So what is being offered is a coach for your life instead of for the sport or whatever you're trying to do [00:27:00] here. This is for your life. This is helping you to gain your trust back in yourself because you've lost it along the way from you falling off whatever bandwagon you've tried to put yourself on, but realizing that not only do you have a coach, but you have a cheerleader along with it, and you have somebody who has lived it, which is the biggest thing because for me.

I am the average consumer, right? Where I wanna look and see that other people have had success doing the same thing. And the nice thing about Stacy is she has lived through this, how many times has she said that she was at the bottom? So even if you're not at the bottom, know that you'll get so much further.

Because you have somebody who has tried these things. She's going to give you the tools that have worked for her and other clients, [00:28:00] and she's going to help you more than 10 X your life, and you'll probably get further than even work she's gotten because she's giving you everything that she has. So is there anything else that you wanna leave us with?

I love that we brought more of the religious side of it because we think that doesn't work. But seeing that we are a whole person and we need lots of different things to help us feel like we are whole and to be able to bring that ripple effect, healing when we're healing ourselves.

So from a faith perspective I've had to do, like I mentioned, some healing there too. The faith is not the enemy here. The faith is part of the support for sure.

And I think what I would leave people with would be that

if you're [00:29:00] feeling that deep pull, there's something to that. God's trying to tell you something. God, higher power name your higher being, but that's your calling. That's your true identity because right now you're living in the identity of what the world is telling you that you're supposed to be, and we were all created for so much more there.

There's only one of you on this planet. I think there's like a one in 400 billion or trillion chance that you even would've made it to this world as the person that you are. So you're supposed to be here and you have things in this life you're supposed to do. And if you're not doing them, that's where you're feeling that urge, that that pit in your stomach, that that thought in the back of your head, that [00:30:00] just won't leave you.

I encourage you to listen to that. Spend some time with it, see what it's all about. Is it healing? Is it a calling? What is it that it's trying to tell you? And if it's trying to tell you that you need a little support along the way, of course me and Autumn we're always here for you. That is a perfect way to end.

One last thing is where can we find you? If we wanna work with you, learn more about you, where do we need to go? So I am actually, I just started a Facebook group. If you go into Facebook, it's called the Renewed Mom Community, where every week I've been going live and just teaching a little bit on, anything between, how science and scripture are linked. I do a lot of that on my podcast as well. So if you go to the Renewed Mom [00:31:00] community there's a freebie there for you too, but it, I'm building it as a place for us all to have some support and to feel like we're in that, that place together where all the feelings we're feeling, it's okay.

If you wanna hear more about the science and scripture, if you go to the Golden Spark Podcast. I am on Spotify, I am on Podbean, and I am on Apple Podcasts, where every week I try to link together the science and the scripture, but I am also most active on Instagram at Stacy Underscored simplified. And if you have any questions or if you are interested in anything else that I said here today, feel free to DM me there. Perfect. And it's all in the show notes as well.

So it works for all the different ways that brains work in this world because I love that. I love the idea. I've heard this analogy that we are all different colors in the cran box. It [00:32:00] would be really boring if we, I love the color blue, but if we were all blue, it would be so boring.

I love that there's a variety of colors. It makes it so that we can pick out our favorite color, our favorite type of people, our favorite of who we want to be. Mm-hmm.

Thank you so much. And you left so many golden nuggets in here. I'm very excited to go back and listen myself. And like I said at the beginning, please share this episode.

There are other people who are struggling. If their name comes to mind for you and you don't know why, still share it with them. Say, this resonated with me, this part. I felt the need to share it with you and I don't. And even tell 'em, I don't know why, then there's no judgment there, right? Mm-hmm. So know that everybody is struggling in their own unique ways, and this can be a really great way to help them feel that you've thought about them and that you love them.

So thank you. Thank you so much for having me here today.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I [00:33:00] hope that you found the answers that you needed, and you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for as part of the legal language.

I am a certified life coach with a Bachelor's in Applied Health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice. Take it as such. See you in the next episode.